Osho - Sex is very important because sex is the root of life.

Question - What is your attitude toward Sex, and Sex outside of marriage?
Osho - Sex is very important because sex is the root of life. You are born out of sex, your every cell in the body is a sex cell. Sex cannot be denied and any society that denies sex becomes suicidal. Then it is denying life itself.

So sex is very significant, very meaningful. But you can do two wrong thinks with sex. One is, you can be suppressive. Then you create perversions. In the West, Christianity has created a very perverted mind through too much of a ’no’ attitude toward sex, too much fear about sex.

Too much suppression has created a reaction. That suppression will lead to perverted mind. So I am not for suppression. Nor am I for indulgence. Indulgence is again a reaction.

Indulgence is the opposite extreme to suppression. That, too, is not good. I am for healthy sex that is neither indulgence nor suppression. Sex must be accepted in its totality. Then the question of inside or outside of marriage is irrelevant because marriage is just a part of the social system; there is nothing natural about it.

To me, to be really authentic in your sex life you have to go beyond the structure of marriage. You become inauthentic in two ways. If someone is in a sexual relationship with someone that he or she doesn’t love, to me it is immoral.

Even if he or she is one’s husband or one’s wife, if one is not in love then it is immoral. If love is the base, only then can you be honest, sincere and authentic. If love is the base then marriage becomes, by and by, a superficial structure.

Osho - Sex makes man a fool

Osho - The antagonism of religion against sex is ninety-nine percent stupid, but there is one percent of truth which I cannot deny. But I have never talked about that one percent of truth to you because there is the danger that the one percent truth may deceive you and you will forget the ninety-nine percent which is untrue. So I have been hammering on the ninety-nine percent. But to make my picture complete... these are my last touches to the picture, so I cannot leave anything out.

That one percent of truth is significant; in fact because of that one percent, all religions became anti-sex. And that truth is that sex makes man a fool, gives him the idea that he is the master of it, while he is only a slave. And the slavery has to be broken -- he has to be pulled out of this ditch. But if he thinks that that ditch is a palace then you cannot pull him out. You cannot even persuade him to come out of it; hence, the condemnation of sex by all the religions.

But they overdid it, and they forgot the ninety-nine percent dangers just for the one percent. It could have been done very easily without taking the risk of ninety-nine percent falsehood. But they saw the danger of man being simply a means, and that is the lowliest position possible; you are just a means, not an end. You are being used by some unknown force of which you have no idea. And you go on thinking in your mind that all these prostrating people are prostrating to you.

The man living on the instinctive level only has an hallucination of love. That hallucination is created by nature, by biology, chemistry. You have in your body drugs which are released when you are making love, and you start moving into euphoria. That is one of the reasons why people who become addicted to drugs slowly slowly become uninterested in sex.

The hippies and yippies and all kinds of people -- when they became too interested in drugs, they lost their fervor for sex completely, because now they had found a better way of getting into a euphoric state. Now sex seemed to be nothing compared to it. That can give you a clue that both are drugs.

Nature has been using that drug in a very minute quantity; there was no need for more up to now. Perhaps nature will have to think again -- find out better drugs, create better chemistry, bring its level up to date; it is lagging far behind. Man's mind has created things like LSD far superior; so superior that a man like Aldous Huxley thought that LSD gives you samadhi -- that it is actually what Kabir and Buddha and Rumi and all the mystics of the world have been talking about. But they had bullock-cart methods to reach to this state.

Now science has given us very advanced drugs, there is no need for yoga and tantra and other things -- you just take an injection. You yourself push the injection, there is no need for somebody else to do it. And for hours you are in a euphoric state which is certainly superior to what you call orgasm, because orgasm is so momentary that it only creates more desire for it; it never gives you any satisfaction.

The second symptom that it is a drug is its power of addiction: people become addicted to sex. And a very strange thing about addiction is that if you have the drug, it is nothing; if you don't have it, you are missing. You never think what you are missing because when you have it, it is nothing.. Each time you have it you feel that it is just a futile effort, nothing comes out of it. You don't move a single inch in evolution. You just jump for a moment in the air and with a thump you fall back on the ground.

That's why people don't like to make love publicly, there is no other reason. The reason is nobody wants to look so foolish. Now, in California, which is the most advanced stupid place in the whole world, they have hotels for peeping Toms -- you have to pay for it. Inside two fools are making love, and many around the room are sitting and looking and enjoying what the two fools are enjoying. They are enjoying how the couple are making fools of themselves. People pay for it, but those two people are not aware of it; they have also paid.

One man, the first day, was inside the room, but coming out he found many people really hilarious. He asked them, "What is the matter?"
They said, "The show was so good!"
"Which show?" he asked.
They said, "You don't know? Come tomorrow -- it is worth seeing."

The man was such an idiot, and he had been doing such idiotic things, it was worth seeing. The next day the man came with these friends. Now he was outside the wall -- and then he found what the matter was: the previous day he had been inside and all these people had enjoyed him. This was tricky -- now he was enjoying somebody else!

All the cultures around the world have prohibited, in some way or other, lovemaking in public places, for the simple reason that if you want to be idiotic then at least find some privacy. Don't make yourself unnecessarily a public show free of charge. A crowd will gather and they will enjoy. Nobody can pass by that place; they will all stop there. And they know they all are doing the same kinds of things. But it is an unconscious state.

Love, at the instinctive level -- which is the lowest level -- is just a dream created by nature so that you can pass through this arduous job of making love. If there is no euphoria around it, you are going to refuse: "I am not going to make a fool of myself." Nature has given you a certain allurement.

Source: from Osho Book "From Misery to Enlightenment, Chapter 5" 

Osho on Witnessing the Sex Act

Osho - Stand aside. Be a witness. Remember this word ’witness’. This is one of the key words in the search for spirituality. If you can understand this word and practice it, you don’t need anything else. Even this one key will open all the doors of paradise. This is a master key. Any lock can be opened by it. What does it mean to stand aside? When sex arises in you, you get identified with it. Then, when you have moved through the sex act, depression sets in, because you hoped so much and nothing has happened.

You longed too much, you expected too much, and nothing has happened. The whole thing has just been a fraud. You feel betrayed, deceived. Then repentance sets in and you start thinking in anti-sex terms. You start thinking how to be brahmacharya, how to be a celibate. You think in terms of how to be a monk; you go against sex. Then you get identified with that ’anti’ attitude.

Witnessing means that when sex arises, stand aside and look at it. Don’t get identified. Don’t say, ”I have become sex.” Say, ”Sexual desire has arisen in me. Now I must observe it.” Don’t be for it and don’t be against it. Remain quiet and calm – just an observer. That doesn’t mean to suppress it, because suppression wiD not allow you to know what it is. Don’t suppress it. Suppression means that you are identified with the ’anti’ attitude.

Remember this: if you suppress, you are identified with the ’anti’ attitude. Don’t suppress, don’t get identified. Allow it to happen. Don’t be afraid; just wait and watch. Move in the sex act but with a watchful eye, knowing well what is happening and allowing it to happen. Not disturbing it, not suppressing it – allowing it to become manifest in its totality, but standing aside as if you are watching someone else.

The act will move to its peak. Go with it, but always standing by the side. Know whatsoever is happening in detail. Be alert; don’t lose awareness. Then, from the peak, you will start falling down and the ’anti’ attitude will set in. Be alert again. Don’t get identified with the ’anti’ attitude. Look at what is happening: the wave has gone up to a peak; now the wave is falling down. Sex is the wave arising. brahmacharya, the ’anti’ attitude toward sex, is the wave falling down.

Be aware, be alert. Don’t be for or against; don’t condemn; don’t make any judgement. Don’t be a judge; just be a witness. Don’t say, ”This is good. That is bad.” Don’t say anything. Just be alert and watch what is happening. Be true to the facts; don’t give any interpretation. That’s what witnessing means.

If you can be a witness to sex, and to the anti-sex attitude, you will come to a great understanding. That understanding will tell you that sex and anti-sex are two poles of one wave. They are not really opposite to one another. They are just the rising and falling down of the same wave. They are one, so there is nothing to choose. If you choose one you have already chosen the other, because it is part of it, the hidden part of it. If you choose one you have already chosen the other because the other cannot be separated from it. They are one, so there is no choice. Then, choicelessness happens to you.

That choicelessness is the path of victory. Now you don’t choose; there is nothing to choose. And a miracle happens: when you don’t choose, both fall down. Sex and brahmacharya both disappear and for the first time you are not in their clutches, for the first time you are not in the hold of the opposites. Witnessing is the beginning, and witnessing is the end. The first step and the last step are one.

Witnessing is the means and witnessing is the goal. Then the fight goes on, but you are not the warrior. Now the fighting is on a different level. What is that level? Now, sex and anti-sex are both present to you simultaneously. This simultaneous presence of the opposites is the fight. They fight with each other, and you remain a witness. Because they are opposites, anti-poles, they destroy each other completely and both disappear. They are of the same strength and the same energy. They cut each other, they negate each other.

This is the fight. But you are not the warrior; you are just a witness. You are just looking from without: a watcher on the hills. Down in the valley the fight will go on, but now you are just a watcher on the tower. You just look down and you know they are fighting; the opposites are fighting. But they negate each other, because they are of the same strength.

Remember this: only a very deeply sexual person can become a brahmacharya. Much sexual desire can be converted into brahmacharya. If you are just ordinarily sexual you cannot become a brahmacharya because to become a brahmacharya much energy is needed. And the opposite energies are always equivalent, so only very deeply sexual persons become brahmacharyas. Ordinary persons, with ordinary, natural sex, never move to that extreme. They cannot. The energy to move comes from sex. Opposite energies are equivalent.

You need not fight; you need not take part from this side or that side. That is the way of defeat. Just remain aside, get out of the circle – be a witness. It is difficult, because the mind wants to choose; the mind always chooses. Mind is the chooser because, without choosing, there will be no mind; you will fall out of the mind. That’s why it is so difficult not to choose.

Even what I am saying.... Many of you may choose to follow what I am saying, but you will choose to do so for a reason. People come to me and when I say, ”Be a witness,” they immediately ask, ”If I become a witness will sexuality disappear?” Then they cannot become a witness because they have already chosen. They ask, ”Will sexuality disappear if I become a witness?” They are even ready to become a witness if sexuality will disappear!

But they have made a choice. They have decided that sexuality is bad and brahmacharya is good. They ask me, ”If I become a witness will I become brahmacharya, will I become celibate?” They are missing the whole point. I am saying, ”Don’t choose,” and they have already chosen. They want to use witnessing as an instrument for their choice. But you cannot use witnessing that way.

One man came to me. He was a seeker, a serious seeker. But stupid. There are many stupid seekers: serious. And when I say stupid I mean this: they can’t understand what they are doing. The man was suffering from sex. Everyone is suffering because of sex. The suffering has gone so deep that you don’t only suffer because of your own sexuality; you suffer because of others’ sexuality also. This seems to be madness. You suffer because of your own sexuality and you suffer because of others’ sexuality also, because of what others are doing.

Enough misery can be created by your own sexuality. Why be concerned with others? But that misery doesn’t seem to be enough for you so you go on collecting what others are doing: who is doing wrong and who is being good. Who are you to decide? From where have you been given the right? Who are you to become a policeman?

The man who came to see me was a policeman. He was suffering because of what everyone else was doing. But I told him, ”Don’t be worried about others. The real problem must be within you. You have not yet come to terms with your sexuality, that is the problem. Why suffer because of others? Why create other problems? Just to escape from your own problems? Just to be occupied? Who has appointed you to be a policeman? Why waste your life? You must be deeply sex-obsessed; that’s why you are concerned with others.”

So he said, ”You have touched the right wound. I am now sixty-five, and I am still suffering. As I become older, I suffer more. It seems that sexuality is growing with my age. The energy is less, but the sexuality is more. As death is coming near I feel to be more and more sexual. My whole mind, for twenty-four hours, is obsessed with sex.”

I told him, ”You have been fighting sex continuously.” He is a great seeker. He has remained with so many saints, so many gurus. I told him, ”They have destroyed you. You have reached nowhere.Whatsoever you have been doing is wrong. Now, don’t fight sex anymore.”

The man became afraid. He said, ”I have been fighting sex. And this is the reason: even with fighting I am so sexual. Now you say, ’Don’t fight it!’ Then I will become completely mad.”
I told him, ”You have tried fighting. Now try the other. You have reached nowhere. Now, don’t fight!”

”Then what,” he asked, ”am I supposed to do?”
I told him, ”Be a witness.”
He asked, ”Will sexuality disappear then?”
I told him, ”If you become a witness with a partisan view – for brahmacharya, against sex – you cannot become a witness. And if you cannot become a witness, sexuality cannot disappear. Become a witness. Sexuality will disappear, but remember, brahmacharya will also disappear with it.”

There is no need of brahmacharya when sexuality disappears. It is part of the same game. When the disease has disappeared, what is the use of the medicine? You will throw the medicine with the disease. So I told him, ”Brahmacharya will also disappear. But remember not to choose.”
He said, ”I will try.”

After three months – I told him to come back after three months – he came and he said, ”But sex has not yet disappeared.” This is what I call stupidity. ”Sex has not yet disappeared, and I have been practicing witnessing for three months.”

The unconscious choice remains: sex must disappear. Then you cannot be a witness. Witnessing means no choice, choiceless awareness. This is one of the most fundamental keys for all the diseases of the human mind. If you can become a witness, the opposites fight against each other, kiD each other, and both are dead, both disappear. But if you choose one thing over the other, you cannot be a witness.

Source - from Osho Book "The New Alchemy To Turn You On'

Osho on Making Sex as Meditation

Question: My girlfriend told me I am a little boring, not very juicy, very Dependent and a victim. Then I felt very guilty and depressed and Utterly unworthy. I began to feel inside me a big no: towards Existence, life, love, you. Meanwhile I observed in me this Destructive energy and I felt that I somehow enjoyed it! Beloved Master, is it possible to use this energy in some creative Way?

Osho : Your girlfriend is very compassionate, because each man finally becomes very boring not a little boring. Do you realize the fact that what you call love is a repetition, the same stupid gymnastics again and again? And in this whole stupid game the man is the loser. He is dissipating his energy, perspiring, huffing, puffing, and the girl keeps her eyes closed, thinking, "It is a question only of two or three minutes and this nightmare will be finished."

People are so non-inventive that they take it for granted that going through the same actions is making them more interesting. That's why I say your girlfriend is very compassionate -- she only told you that you are a little boring. I say to you, you are utterly boring. When the Christian missionaries came to this country, people discovered that they knew only one posture of making love -- the woman underneath and those ugly beasts on top of the delicate woman. In India that posture is called the missionary posture.

India is an ancient land and the birth place of many sciences, particularly sexology. A book of tremendous importance, by Vatsyayana, has been in existence for five thousand years. The name of the book is Kamasutras, hints for making love. And it comes from a man of deep meditation -- he has created eighty-four postures for lovemaking. Naturally the love posture should change; otherwise you are bound to be boring.

Vatsyayana recognizes the fact that the same love posture creates boredom, a feeling of utter stupidity, because you are always doing the same thing. He invented eighty-four postures to make the love life of couples a little interesting. Nobody in the whole world has written a book of the caliber of Kamasutras. But it could only have come from a man of immense clarity, of deep meditativeness. What is your lovemaking? If you look at your lovemaking, you yourself will feel that it is all boring.

And particularly for the woman it is more boring, because the man is finished in two or three minutes and the woman has not even started. And all around the world, cultures have enforced in the minds of women that they are not supposed even to enjoy or move or be playful -- that is called `dirty'; prostitutes do it, not ladies. Ladies have to lie down almost dead and let that old guy do whatsoever he wants to do; it is nothing new, there is nothing new even to see.

You should not take it as a personal disrespect. Your girlfriend is telling you something really sincere and honest. Have you given her orgasmic joy? Or have you only used her to throw out your sexual energy? Have you reduced her into a commodity? She has been conditioned to accept it, but even this accepting cannot be joyful. You make love on the same bed where you fight every day. In fact fighting is the preface: throwing pillows, shouting at each other, arguing about everything and then, feeling tired, some negotiation is needed.

Your love is only a negotiation. If you are a man of aesthetic sensibility, your love chamber should be a sacred place, because it is in that love chamber that life is born. It should have beautiful flowers, incense, fragrance; you should enter into it with deep respect. And love should not be just an abrupt thing -- grab the woman. This hit-and-run affair is not love. Love should have a preface of beautiful music, of dancing together, of meditating together.

And love should not be a mind thing -- that you are continuously thinking of how to make love and then go to sleep. Love should be a deeper involvement of your whole being, and it should not be projected by the mind, but should come out spontaneously. Beautiful music, fragrance, you are dancing hand in hand, you have again become small children playing with flowers... If spontaneously love happens in this sacred atmosphere it will have a different quality.

You should understand that the woman is capable of multiple orgasms, because she does not lose any energy. Man is capable of only one orgasm and he loses energy, looks depressed. Even the next morning you can see his hangover, and as he goes on growing older it becomes more and more difficult. This difference has to be understood. The woman is on the receptive end -- she has to be, because she has to become a mother, she needs more energy. But her orgasm has a totally different way of happening. Man's sexuality is local, like local anesthesia.

A woman's body is sexual all over, and unless her whole body starts trembling with joy, each cell of her body starts becoming involved, she cannot have an orgasmic explosion. So it is not only in your case, it is the case for almost ninety-nine percent of women around the world. The whole situation has to be changed. The woman should not be under the man. In the first place it is ugly -- man has a stronger body, the woman is more fragile. She should be on top of the man, not the man on top of the woman.

Secondly, man should remain silent, inactive, so that his orgasm is not finished within two minutes. If you are silent and let the woman go crazy on top of your chest it will give her good exercise and it will bring her to an explosion of orgasmic energy. It takes time for her whole body to warm up, and if you are not inactive there is no time. So you meet, but the meeting is not of beauty, of love, but just utilitarian. try with your girlfriend what I am saying. You be the inactive partner and let her be the active partner. Allow her to be uninhibited.

She has not to behave like a lady, she has to behave like an authentic woman. The lady is just created by man; woman is created by existence. You have to fill the gap between her orgasms. The gap can be filled in only one way, that you remain very inactive, silent, and enjoy her going crazy. And she will have multiple orgasms. You should end the game by your orgasm, but you should not begin with it. And your woman will not call you a little boring. You will be a really interesting, real wonderful guy who is behaving like a lady!

Keep your eyes closed so that she is not inhibited by your eyes. So she can do anything -- movement of the hands, movement of the body, moaning, groaning, shouting... Until she says, "Hari Om Tat Sat!" you are not allowed to be alive, you simply remain silent. This should be the indication. "Hari Om Tat Sat" simply means: this orgasmic explosion, this is the truth. Then she will be mad after you. Right now you must be behaving stupidly, as most of the men in the world do.

The second thing you say: "My girlfriend is saying that I am not very juicy." So become a little more juicy! To become juicy is not very difficult. The juice of all kinds of fruits is available everywhere. Drink more juice, less solid food. She is giving you good advice and you in your stupidity are thinking that she is condemning you. When she says, "You are very dependent and a victim," I can see even through your question that she is right.

A victim you are, just as every human being is a victim -- a victim of stupid ideologies, which have created strange guilt feelings and do not allow you to be playful. Although you may be making love, you know you are committing a sin and that hell is not far off.

Becky Goldberg was telling Goldberg, "You are a great lover."
Goldberg said, "But you never told me this before. I was waiting for somebody to say that I am a great lover, but I dropped the idea because it seems I am not."
Becky Goldberg said to him, "No, you are a great lover, and I wanted to say it to you many times, but you were not there!" ... making love to Becky, and Goldberg is not there. He is counting his money, doing his accounts, and his mind is doing thousands of things.

In every bed where there are two lovers there are at least -- I mean minimum -- four people. There are more inventive people -- they may have a whole crowd in the bed. The woman is making love to Goldberg and thinking of Muhammad Ali. Goldberg is making love as a duty and is thinking of so many beautiful actresses; but his mind is not there, and neither is his wife's mind there. Their minds are in their dreams.

A man told his friend, "Last night I had a tremendous dream. I have to tell you. I have been waiting for the morning to tell you the dream." The man said, "What kind of dream?"
He said, "I went fishing in my dream and I caught such big fish that even to draw in one big fish was a strenuous job for me, and I caught so many fish. I don't know where these fish disappear to in the day."

The other man said, "Stop all this nonsense, you don't know what I have dreamt. I found in my dream, on one side of me, Sophia Loren, absolutely nude. And I said, `My God, have I reached heaven?' And on the other side was another beautiful woman. It was impossible to judge who was more beautiful."

The other friend became very angry and he said, "You idiot! You pretend to be my best friend. Why didn't you call me?" He said, "I did call, but your wife said you had gone fishing."

Nobody is where you think he is. Nobody is at home. While making love make it a meditative process. Your whole presence has to be there, showering on the woman you love. The woman has to be there, showering all her beauty and grace on her lover. Then you will not be a victim, otherwise you are a victim. And the most important part will be that you will not feel guilty and depressed. No creative person feels depressed and guilty. His participation in the universe by his creative actions makes him tremendously fulfilled and gives him dignity.

That is the very birthright of every man, but very few people claim it. And there is no difficulty, it is so easy to use energy in creative fields. Paint, do gardening, grow flowers, write poetry, learn music, dance. Learn anything that changes your destructive energy into creative energy, and immediately the big No will become even a bigger Yes. Then you will not be angry at existence, you will be grateful. You will not be against life. How can a creative person be against life, love? It is impossible, it has never happened.

It is only the uncreative people who are against everything. Your girl has raised very important questions for your life. The easiest way would be to change the girlfriend, but I suggest that your girlfriend is certainly a friend to you and that whatever she has said is absolutely sincere, authentic. Be grateful to her and start changing things. The day your girlfriend accepts you as juicy, as interesting, will be a great day in your life. So don't be a coward and change girlfriends just because this girlfriend creates trouble in your mind, and you want to find some other girlfriend.

You must know of my disciples here. You are fortunate to find a very compassionate girl. Your next choice will be very difficult; she will make you feel absolutely guilty and unworthy. Because what have you done to be worthy? What have you done not to be boring? What have you done to declare your independence? What have you done not to be a victim?

It is time you should do it. You will remain always grateful to your girlfriend. I would like to tell your girlfriend, "Go on hitting this fellow until you are satisfied that he is not boring, but full of juice, utterly interesting, playful, celebrating. You may lose him somewhere on the path of life, but you will have prepared him for some other woman; otherwise the way he is now he is going to torture many women and torture himself."

Osho on Relationship and problems of Love

Question: In my relationship I often lose my self and start feeling Closed in. What can I do?
Osho : This is one of the fundamental problems of love. Every lover has to learn it, nobody knows it by birth. It only comes slowly slowly and through much pain, but the sooner it comes, the better -- that each person needs his or her own space, that we should not interfere in that space. To interfere is very natural for lovers, because they start taking the other for granted. They start thinking that they are no more separate. They don't think of 'I' and 'thou'; they start thinking of 'we'. You are that too, but only once in a while.

'We' is a rare phenomenon. Once, for a few moments, lovers come to that point where the word is meaningful, where you can say 'we', when 'I' and 'thou' disappear into each other, where boundaries overlap. But these are rare moments; they should not be taken for granted. You cannot remain 'we' twenty-four hours a day, but that's what every lover demands -- and that creates unnecessary misery. When you come close once in a while you become one, but those are rare moments, precious, to be cherished, and you cannot make them a twenty-four-hour thing.

If you try, you will destroy them; then the whole beauty will be lost. When that moment is gone, it is gone; you are again 'I' and 'thou'. You have your space, she has her space. And one has to be respectful now, that the other's space should not be in any way interfered with; it should not be trespassed. If you trespass it, you hurt the other; you start destroying the other's individuality. And because the other loves you, she or he will go on tolerating it.

But toleration is one thing; it is not something very beautiful. If the other is only tolerating it, then sooner or later the other will take revenge. The other cannot forgive you and it goes on accumulating -- one day, another day, another day.... You have interfered with a thousand and one things, then they all pile up, and then one day they explode. That's why lovers go on fighting. That fight is because of this constant interference. And when you interfere in her being, she tries to interfere in your being, and nobody feels good about it.

For example, she is feeling happy and you will feel left alone because you are not feeling happy. You will feel as if you have been cheated. 'Why is she feeling happy?' You should both feel happy -- that is your idea. That happens once in a while. But sometimes it happens that she is happy, you are not happy or you are happy and she is not happy. We have to understand it, that the other has every right to be happy without one... even though it hurts. You would like to participate but you are not in the mood.

If you insist, all that you can do is: you can destroy her happiness... and you are both losers in that way, because if you destroy her happiness, when you are happy alone she will destroy your happiness. Slowly slowly, rather than becoming friends, we turn into enemies. The basic requirement is: the other has to be given absolute freedom to be herself. If she is happy, feel good -- she is happy; if you can be happy and participate in her happiness, good.

If you cannot, leave her alone. If she is sad, if you can participate in her sadness, good. If you cannot participate and you want to sing a song and you are feeling happy, leave her alone. Don't drag her according to you; leave her to herself. Then slowly slowly a great respect arises for each other. That respect becomes the foundation of the temple of love.

Osho on Meditating on your Sexuality

Question: I feel stuck. I feel I have an essential being inside which wants to get out. It feels a lot more alive and dangerous than the one I drag around with me. It wants to grab girls and sexually enjoy. But you have said that for lifetimes the energy has gone down; time for a change. It wants to fume and rage at getting a half-cup instead of a full cup of milk.

Osho : The half-cup will always remain half. Because it is in the very nature of desires that they cannot be completed. It is the very nature of desire to remain half, to remain discontent. It is the very nature of desire to remain desiring.

You desire one thing. When you get it, by the time you get it, your desire has increased. You were desiring ten thousand rupees. By the time you get ten thousand rupees, your desire has gone farther ahead. Now it is asking for twenty thousand rupees.

In fact nothing has changed. You had five thousand rupees with you, and you were desiring ten thousand rupees. Now you have ten thousand rupees, you are desiring twenty thousand rupees. The proportion is the same. The distance between you and your goal is the same. It remains the same. The cup remains half. There is no way through desire to come to fulfillment.

Buddha has said it is not the nature of desire to be fulfilled. Fulfillment comes only by desirelessness. Now, this is one of the most important paradoxes -- if you drop desiring, you will be fulfilled. The more you desire, the more you are getting into desire, the farther and farther away you go from your possibility of fulfillment. One desire creates many more desires... then many more desires, millions more. It is like a tree. First it is one, then many branches, then many small offshoots, and on and on it goes. The person has asked, I FEEL STUCK....

 Everybody who has been living in desire feels stuck. The problem is that if you don't try to fulfill your desire, you remain unfulfilled. If you try, even if you get the goal of your desire, then you remain unfulfilled -- then too, nothing changes. This is the nightmare of life.

I have heard about a madhouse. A visitor had come, and the doctor, the superintendent, was taking him round. They came to a cage. A man was beating his head, pulling his hair, crying, and holding a small picture near his chest. Pathetic, very tragic was the scene.

The visitor asked, 'What happened to this unfortunate man?'

The doctor said, 'He used to love a woman and he could not get her. She decided to marry somebody else. Since then he has been mad. He is carrying that picture continuously -- day, night, awake, asleep -- and he goes on in deep anguish. His misery is immense.'

Then they reached another cage, just in front of the first one. Another person was raving mad, hitting against the walls, fighting with some shadows. He was almost violent, aggressive; he looked like a murderer. And the visitor asked, 'What happened to this man?'

The doctor started laughing. He said, 'The woman married this man! And this is what has happened by marrying the woman.' 

One is suffering because he could not get, another is suffering because he could get. There are poor people who are suffering because they don't have riches. And there are rich people who are suffering because now they have riches and yet they have nothing. There are unsuccessful people who are in tremendous pain because they failed and life failed them. And there are successful people who are simply empty, all life gone out of them. They put everything at stake and they succeeded and now what to do?

Nothing fails like success. When it comes, you cannot believe what you were desiring. You can have a big house, and you can have respect and money, and suddenly you see -- you are just empty and your whole life has been a wastage. Things have accumulated and you have disappeared. Things are there, possessions are there, but the master is missing. This is the nature of desire. Everybody feels stuck. 

I FEEL STUCK. I FEEL I HAVE AN ESSENTIAL BEING INSIDE WHICH WANTS TO GET OUT. 

That is not your essential being. Because the essential being is that which has no desire. The being that desires is the accidental being. Be careful what words you use. The essential is one which has no desire. It is already fulfilled. That which desires is the accidental. It is continuously unhappy, continuously in discontent, continuously frustrated... and goes on desiring. And the problem is -- the more you desire, the more you get frustrated. The more you get frustrated, the more you desire. A vicious circle... and one goes on moving in it and is crushed by the wheel. 

I FEEL I HAVE AN ESSENTIAL BEING INSIDE WHICH WANTS TO GET OUT. 

The essential being never wants to get out. The essential being is your innermost core, it is your innerness. It never wants to get out. There is nothing for it to go anywhere. It is already where it should be. The essential is one which is already where it should be, which is already that which it should be. The essential is the ideal, the essential is the natural, the spontaneous. 

I FEEL I HAVE AN ESSENTIAL BEING INSIDE ME WHICH WANTS TO GET OUT. 

This is not your essential being that wants to get out. This is your accidental being. Maybe it arises because you are identified with the body, or it arises because you are identified with the mind. IT FEELS A LOT MORE ALIVE AND DANGEROUS THAN THE ONE I DRAG AROUND WITH ME. 

Yes, it is. It at least appears to be more alive. It at least deceives you to be more alive. Follow it and you will find that it tricked you.

That's what people find by the time death is approaching. Their sex tricked them, their lust tricked them, their greed tricked them, their ambition tricked them. And now everything is gone, all energy lost, and they are going empty-handed. They have not matured. They have not got anything that they can carry beyond death.

Life is that which cannot be destroyed by death, remember. That is the definition. And anything alive, if it is truly alive, is beyond death. It cannot be taken away by death. Nothing can destroy it. Aliveness is eternity.

IT FEELS A LOT MORE ALIVE... It simply deceives you. It is very very tricky, it is very persuasive. It is a great salesman... AND DANGEROUS THAN THE ONE I DRAG AROUND WITH ME. Yes, and it is dangerous; not for you -- it is dangerous for others. For you, it is just an illusion.

Of course it is dangerous, but not in the sense that I was talking about danger. That's what everybody is doing. That is nothing new. Everybody is greedy and everybody is full of lust. That is nothing new, that is nothing risky. That is the way of the world. Even animals are doing that, trees are doing that. Everybody is doing that. It is dangerous in a different way. It is dangerous in the sense that it is destructive. It will destroy you, and it will destroy others. It is not creative.

Love is creative. Sex is destructive. And there is a lot of difference between the two. Sometimes you start thinking that your sexuality is your love. Then you are deceived. Sexuality can play the game of love, but it is a counterfeit game. I am not against sex, but I am certainly against sexuality. And the difference is that sex is a natural thing and sexuality is a mind thing.

To love a woman is natural, to love a man is natural. To reproduce children is natural, nothing wrong in it. But to think about women, to carry pornographic pictures, to fall asleep every night thinking about women -- women and women and women -- that is sexuality. 

Mulla Nasrudin went to his psychiatrist. And the psychiatrist said, just as a test, 'Look at the clock on the wall. What does it remind you of?'

He looked at the wall and said, 'Of women.'
The clock!? The psychiatrist said, 'Okay, what does this chair remind you of?'

'Of course,' Mulla Nasrudin said, 'of women.' Even the psychiatrist was shocked -- the chair? And then a camel was passing, so he said, 'And what does this camel remind you of?' Now, this is the farthest thing from a woman -- a camel.

And he said, 'Of course, of women.'
The psychiatrist said, 'This is too much. How can the camel remind you of women?'

Mulla Nasrudin said, 'It is not a question of the camel or anything else. I never think about anything else. Everything reminds me of women. Even nothing reminds me of women. I simply think about women and nothing else.' 

Now this is sexuality. And the same is trying to erupt in the questioner. IT WANTS TO GRAB GIRLS AND SEXUALLY ENJOY. Now nothing is wrong in falling in love with a woman, but to grab a girl is ugly. Be a little more artful and a little more gentlemanly. Grabbing? The very word is aggressive, the very word is violent -- as if you don't have any respect for the woman you love. Grabbing? Is she a thing? Do you want to rape?

This is what goes on happening in the ordinary mind. It has fallen from sex, it has become sexual. Sex is natural, normal. You love a woman, you love a man -- good. But then you are finished. If you love a woman, you are finished with being concerned with other women. Then that one woman represents all women, then that one man becomes all the men in one. Then the whole mankind is there. When you love a woman, you have found the essential woman that you were looking for. Now you are not looking at every passerby, and your mind is not grabbing. IT WANTS TO GRAB GIRLS AND SEXUALLY ENJOY.

First thing to remember -- if you grab a woman, you will never enjoy. Because enjoyment cannot be forced. It is a subtle rhythm. When a woman also loves you, only then this music arises between the two which gives joy, delight.

You can grab a woman -- and that's what people are doing. Somebody is doing just by physical force, somebody is doing by money-force... because he has money so he can purchase any woman... somebody is doing by some other means. As I see, out of a hundred, ninety-nine people have grabbed women and men. Rarely it happens that a person is in love.

When you are in love, you don't grab the woman and the woman does not grab you. When you are in love, love possesses you both. When you are in love, you don't possess each other. You possess not -- not at all. And when you are in love, you don't think about enjoyment; it is there. All thinking about enjoyment exists because it is not there, it is missing.

Joy is something which happens as a consequence; it is not a result. You cannot make any effort to be joyful. You can move into some activity so deeply that you forget yourself, and joy arises. Joy arises only when you are not. This is what Buddha says -- when the self disappears then joy arises.

The self can disappear in meditation. The self can disappear in love. The self can disappear in prayer. The self can disappear in dance, in singing and painting. The self can disappear anywhere if you are completely lost in any activity, and the activity is so deep that you are no more a doer there; you have become one with it. It happens sometimes.

Once a young man came to me. He was a good runner, a champion runner, and he asked me how to meditate, and he was so bubbling with energy. He was a great runner, and he said, 'When I sit, and you tell me to sit silently, I cannot sit; the energy is so much. Is there any possibility for me to ever become meditative?'

I said, 'You forget about meditation. You run, and you drop yourself in running. One day meditation will happen.'

He said, 'What are you saying? Just by running? Has anybody ever become a Buddha just running?'

I said, 'Yes, there is a possibility. Because a person can become a Buddha in any activity.'

He said, 'I will try.'

After a week he came and he said, 'It is unbelievable. I cannot even believe that it has happened. Something tremendously beautiful happened. I was running, I was going as fast as I could. And as you had said, I forgot myself completely. I was not performing, it was not a competition. I was simply in it... the sun falling on my being, showering me, the morning breeze, the birds singing, and the empty bank of the river. And I was running and running.

'And by and by I started falling into a rhythm with the river, with the breeze, with the trees. And suddenly, yes, it was there. I was so full of joy. I have never been so joyful. Tell me, Osho, has it really happened? Because I cannot believe that just by running... and I have been running for many years and it has never happened.' He was not losing himself; running was a performance.

Now, one of the most miserable things is happening in the West -- people are making even love a performance. They read Masters and Johnson, and they read Kinsey and his reports, and they read other so-called great sex researchers, and now they are trying to perform.

They go on looking whether the woman is having the orgasm or not, whether she is thinking that the man is the greatest man in the world or not. And the woman is also thinking in the same way -- seeing whether she is fulfilling the man and giving him great ecstasy or not. Now both are performing and the whole thing is destroyed. Now they are simply acting, they are no more in it.

In the West, this century is proving the worst century for love. And they talk too much about love, and so many books are there -- but something is missing. Love is becoming a performance.

I am saying to you that even a thing like running, if it is no more a performance, will give you the same orgasm that love can give, and the same ecstasy that meditation can give. Even cleansing the floor, you can attain to samadhi.

Sarita goes on cleansing. I hope one day she achieves her samadhi through cleansing. She is moving by and by towards it. Sometimes she even misses my talks because she has to clean, and she enjoys cleaning so much that I say, 'Okay, you miss the talk. You will not be missing me.'

Even an ordinary activity -- very ordinary activity -- can have tremendous import once you are completely lost in it. Don't be a performer.

IT WANTS TO GRAB GIRLS AND SEXUALLY ENJOY. If you grab a girl you will have a corpse in your hands, not a human body. You can make love to a corpse. There have been people.... It is said that when Cleopatra died, some foolish people dug her out of her grave and raped her... with a dead body. But this is not so strange. As I see, many people are doing it. It is not very strange. Cleopatra was tremendously beautiful, and men are foolish.

H. G. Wells has written that if Cleopatra had had a little smaller nose, the whole history of humanity would have been different. Men are such fools that their whole history can be different if Cleopatra had had a little smaller nose. It must have been; H. G. Wells is right. The whole history would have been different. And some fools raped the dead body.

But this is happening on a very large scale. If your woman is not ready to love you in that moment... maybe she is your wife; that does not make it sure... if she is not ready out of her own heart, if she is not flowing in it, you are making love to a dead body. If your man is not ready, drawn into it, losing himself into it, you are making love to a dead body.

You can grab, but you will never reach the woman. The woman or the man can never be grabbed. And you can try to enjoy and you will be only frustrated, because nobody has ever attained any enjoyment by trying it. Enjoyment comes like a shadow. The whole effort is ridiculous.

Let me tell you one anecdote : Mulla Nasrudin and his wife were at the ballet. He suddenly started laughing. The wife asked, 'Why?' 'I was just wondering what the audience would do if I suddenly jumped on the stage, grabbed one of the girls, threw her down and made violent love to her,' he said.

The wife thought a little and began to laugh. He asked, 'Why?'
'I was just thinking,' she said, 'what would you do if the audience gave you a standing ovation and screamed for an encore. If the audience screamed, "Once more!" what would you do?' 

It will be really ridiculous. Performance is ridiculous. Don't be a performer.

Never think of grabbing a woman or a man. Love -- love is beautiful. But loving needs a tremendous transformation in you, because it is a surrender. You have to surrender, you have to be respectful. You have to revere the other person, his being. Love is prayer. And if sex happens as part of love, sex is spiritual. Then sex is no more sexual, then it is a spiritual ecstasy. It is meditative and prayerful. 

BUT YOU HAVE SAID THAT FOR LIFETIMES THE ENERGY HAS GONE DOWN; TIME FOR A CHANGE. IT WANTS TO FUME AND RAGE AT GETTING A HALF-CUP INSTEAD OF A FULL CUP OF MILK. 

The very nature of desire is such, and you are tackling it in a very foolish way. Try to understand the nature of desire. I am not saying repress it. I am saying understand it. Because repression will not help. In fact, repression has brought you to this stage.

The questioner must have been repressing. See, he has repressed his natural desires so much that they have become corrupted. Now he thinks that is his essential being. It is nothing but his repressed being. Then you can go on and on in your head, playing again and again the same repressed desires. And it is not going to fulfill you. I am not saying be repressive. I am saying be skillful, be aware.

It happened : When Syble got to be twenty-eight without any prospects of getting married, her mother nagged her into inserting an ad in the matrimonial column. The ad read: Beautiful exotic young heiress seeks correspondence with devil-may-care gentleman who wants to go places fast.

After the ad appeared, the mother asked anxiously, 'Well, any answers?'
'Just one,' sighed the daughter.
'Who wrote it?' demanded mama.

'I should not tell you,' said the daughter.
'But it was my idea,' shouted mama, 'and I insist on knowing.'
'All right,' said the daughter, 'you asked for it. It is from papa.' 

If you go on repressing, then it will become uglier and uglier. And in old age all your repressions become very strong -- because you become weak and your repressions take revenge. I am not saying to repress. I am saying understand. Only if understanding can help, then it is good. And understanding helps.

Meditate on your sexuality. See it through and through. Let it become transparent. And the first thing needed is -- at least make your sexuality normal. Let it be sex. Don't think in terms of grabbing. Be a little more romantic. Don't be so aggressive and violent. Be a little more poetic about life, and a little more graceful.

First let your sexuality come to a normal point of sex, and then let your sex follow your love. Never put your sex before love. Love should be the driving force and sex should follow it. And once you have done this much, you are on the right track. Soon you will realize that whatsoever you have been calling your essential self was your repressed self. And once that repressed self is dispersed, eliminated, and you have become natural, healthy, whole, then your essential self will come for the first time into your vision. The essential self is your innermost god. The essential self is what truth is. The essential self is no-self. 

Source: from book “The Discipline of Transcendence” by Osho

Osho - Sleepy person knows only a few sensations of the body food, sex

Question - Beloved Master, What is Happiness?
Osho - Jayananda, it depends. It depends on you, on your state of consciousness or unconsciousness, whether you are asleep or awake. There is one famous maxim of Murphy. He says there are two types of people: One, who always divide humanity in two types, and the other, who don't divide humanity at all. I belong to the first type.... Humanity can be divided in two types: the sleeping ones and the awakened ones -- and, of course, a small part in between.

Happiness will depend on where you are in your consciousness. If you are asleep, then pleasure is happiness. Pleasure means sensation, trying to achieve something through the body which is not possible to achieve through the body, forcing the body to achieve something it is not capable of. People are trying, in every possible way, to achieve happiness through the body.

The body can give you only momentary pleasures, and each pleasure is balanced by pain in the same amount, in the same degree. Each pleasure is followed by its opposite because body exists in the world of duality, just as the day is followed by night and death is followed by life and life is followed by death. It is a vicious circle. Your pleasure will be followed by pain, your pain will be followed by pleasure.

But you will never be at ease. When you will be in a state of pleasure you will be afraid that you are going to lose it, and that fear will poison it. And when you will be lost in pain, of course, you will be in suffering, and you will try every possible effort to get out of it -- just to fall again back into it. Buddha calls this the wheel of birth and death. We go on moving in this wheel, clinging to the wheel... and the wheel moves on. Sometimes pleasure comes up and sometimes pain comes up, but we are crushed between these two rocks.

But the sleepy person knows nothing else. He knows only a few sensations of the body -- food, sex. This is his world; he goes on moving between these two. These are the two ends of his body: food and sex. If he represses sex he becomes addicted to food: if he represses food he becomes addicted to sex. Energy goes on moving like a pendulum. And whatsoever you call pleasure is, at the most, just a relief of a tense state. Sexual energy gathers, accumulates; you become tense and heavy and you want to release it.

The man who is asleep, his sexuality is nothing but a relief, like a good sneeze. It gives you nothing but a certain relief. A tension was there, now it is no more there; but it will accumulate again. Food gives you only a little taste on the tongue; it is not much to live for. But many people are living only to eat; there are very few people who eat to live.

The story of Columbus is well-known. It was a long trip. For three months they saw nothing but water. Then one day Columbus looked out at the horizon and saw trees. And if you think Columbus was happy to see trees, you should have seen his dog! That's why the Siberian dogs are the fastest in the world: because the trees are so far apart. But this is the world of pleasure. The dog can be forgiven, but you cannot be forgiven.

During their first date, the young man, looking for ways to have a good time, asked the young lady if she would like to go bowling. She replied that she did not care to go bowling. He then suggested a movie, but she answered that she did not care for them. While trying to think of something else he offered her a cigarette which she declined. He then asked if she would like to dance and drink at the new disco. She again declined by saying she did not care for those things. In desperation he asked her to come to his apartment for a night of lovemaking. To his surprise she happily agreed, kissed him passionately and said, "You see, you don't need any of those things to have a good time!"

It depends on people what can be called happiness. To the sleeping, pleasurable sensations are happiness. He lives from one pleasure to another pleasure. He is just rushing from one sensation to another sensation. He lives for small thrills. His life is very superficial; it has no depth, it has no quality. He lives in the world of quantity.

Then the people who are in between, who are neither asleep nor awake, who are just in a limbo, a little bit asleep, a little bit awake. You sometimes have that experience in the early morning: still sleepy, but you can't say you are asleep because you can hear the noise in the house, your wife preparing tea, the noise of the samovar or the milkman at the door or children getting ready to go to school. You can hear these things, but still you are not awake. Vaguely, dimly these noises reach to you, as if there is a great distance between you and all that is happening around you.

It feels as if it is still a part of the dream. It is not a part of the dream, but you are in a state of in-between. The same happens when you start meditating. The nonmeditator sleeps, dreams; the meditator starts moving away from his sleep towards awakening. He is in a transitory state. Then happiness has a totally different meaning: it becomes more of a quality, less of a quantity; it is more psychological, less physiological.

He enjoys music more, he enjoys poetry more, he enjoys creating something. He enjoys nature, its beauty. He enjoys silence. He enjoys what he had never enjoyed before, and this is far more lasting. Even if the music stops, something goes on lingering in you. And it is not a relief.

The difference between pleasure and THIS happiness is: it is not a relief, it is an enrichment. You become more full, you become a little overflowing. Listening to good music, something is triggered in your being, a harmony arises in you -- you become musical. Or dancing, suddenly you forget your body; your body becomes weightless. The grip of gravitation over you is lost. Suddenly you are in a different space: the ego is not so solid, the dancer melts and merges into the dance. This is far higher, far deeper

than the joy that you gain from food or sex. This has a depth. But this is also not the ultimate. The ultimate happens only when you are fully awake, when you are a buddha, when all sleep is gone and all dreaming is gone, when your whole being is full of light, when there is no darkness within you. All darkness has disappeared and with that darkness, the ego is gone. All tensions have disappeared, all anguish, all anxiety. You are in a state of total contentment. You live in the present; no past, no future anymore. You are utterly herenow.

This moment is all. Now is the only time and here is the only space. And then suddenly the whole sky drops into you. This is bliss. This is REAL happiness. Seek bliss, Jayananda; it is your birthright. Don't remain lost in the jungle of pleasures; rise a little higher. Reach to happiness and then to bliss.

Pleasure is animal, happiness is human, bliss is divine. Pleasure binds you, it is a bondage, it chains you. Happiness gives you a little more rope, a little bit of freedom, but only a little bit. Bliss is absolute freedom. You start moving upwards; it gives you wings. You are no more part of the gross earth; you become part of the sky. You become light, you become joy. Pleasure is dependent on others. Happiness is not so dependent on others, but still it is separate from you. Bliss is not dependent, is not separate either; it is your very being, it is your very nature. To attain it is to attain to God, to nirvana.

Source: from Osho Book "Dhammapada Vol 10"

Osho on Shortcoming in Tantra Teachings

Question - Beloved Osho, Do You see shortcoming in the Teachings of Tantra that incline you to feel Tantric methods are not suitable for us?
Osho - It is not a complete system. There is  a basic fallacy that human beings fall into: they find a small truth, a part of the truth, and rather than discover the whole, the remaining part they imagine to fill up the gap. Because they have part of the truth, they can argue and they can manage to make a system, but the remaining part is simply their invention.

All the systems have done that. Rather than discovering the whole truth, it is the human tendency to say, "Why bother? We have found a small piece which is enough for the showcase, which is enough to silence any enemy who raises any question" -- and the remaining is just invention.

For example, tantra is right that sexual energy is the basic energy, so this energy should be transformed into higher forms. It is a truth. But what happened is that they never went very deep into meditation; meditation remained just secondary. And man's sexuality shows itself so powerfully that in the name of tantra it became simply sexual orgy.

Without meditation that was going to happen. Meditation should have been the most primary thing because that is going to transform the energy, but that became secondary. And many people who were sexually perverted, sexually repressed, joined the tantra school. These were the people who brought all their perversions, all their repressions. They were not interested in any transformation, they were interested only in getting rid of their repressions; their interest was basically sexual.

So although tantra has a piece of truth, it could not be used rightly. Unless that piece of truth is put in second place, and meditation moves into first place, it will always happen that in tantra, people will be doing all kinds of perversions. And with a great name, they will not feel that they are doing anything wrong; they will feel they are doing something religious, something spiritual.

Tantra failed for two reasons. One was an inner reason -- that meditation was not made the central point. And second, tantra had no special methodology for the perverted and the repressed, so that first their repressions and perversions are settled and they become normal. And once they become normal, then they are introduced to meditation. Only after deep meditation should they be allowed in tantra experiments. It was a wrong arrangement, so the whole thing became, in the name of a great system, just an exploitation of sex.

That's what many of the therapists are doing. Just the other day I saw Rajen's advertisement for a tantra group -- with an obscene picture. It will attract people because this is real pornography. Why bother to go to see just pictures printed on paper when you can see real people doing pornography? And Rajen has no understanding of meditation, has never meditated.

And these people will feel good, relieved, because the society does not allow them... In the group they will be allowed to do everything they want to do, so much repression will be thrown out, and they will feel relieved and light and they will feel thankful that they have gone through a great tantra experience. And there has been no tantra experience -- it was simply a sexual orgy. And within a few days, they will again collect repressions because they cannot do it outside in the society. So they become permanent customers, chronic tantrikas.

And the so-called therapists enjoy the money that they bring. They have nothing to lose, they simply allow freedom. They start with all the great words that I have been using -- "freedom," "expression," "no repression," "just be yourself, and don't be worried what others are thinking," "do your own thing." And those idiots start doing their own thing! First people should be introduced to meditation, and then they should be introduced to tantra methods. This is not tantra. Tantra methods are totally different. These people who are doing tantra, they don't know anything about tantra.

For example, Ramakrishna meditated deeply, and whenever he felt any sexual urge disturbing his meditation he would ask his wife Sharda -- who was a beautiful woman -- to sit on a high stool, naked, and he would sit in front of her just looking at her, meditating on her till that sexual urge subsided. Then he would touch the feet of Sharda, his own wife, and he would thank her, saying, "You have been helping me immensely; otherwise, where would I have gone? The urge needed some expression, and just watching you was enough."

The temple of Khajuraho has beautiful statues in all sexual postures. It was a tantra school that made the temple and those statues. And the first thing the student had to do was to meditate on each statue -- and they are arranged in such a way that from one corner you go around the temple in a circle. It may take six months, but you have to watch each statue until you can see it just as a statue with no sexuality in it -- and it is in a sexual posture. But just in your watching it, seeing it for months, it becomes a pure piece of art; all pornography disappears. Then you move to another. And all the perversions of human mind have been put into the statues.

And when you have circled the whole temple, only then will the master allow you inside the temple. Those six months are of immense meditation and of tremendous release, all repressions gone: you are feeling absolutely light. Then the master allows you in. And inside the temple there is no sexual statue; inside the temple there is nothing -- emptiness.

Then the master teaches you how to go deeper into your meditation which has arisen in the six months, and now you can go very deep because there is no hindrance, no problem, no sexuality. And this going deep into meditation with no sexual disturbance means the sexual energy is moving with the meditation, not against it. That's how it is transformed and takes higher forms.

All these so-called therapists know nothing about tantra, know nothing of why it failed. But they are not interested in that, they are interested in exploiting repressed people. And the repressed people are happy because after a seven or ten day tantra session, they feel relieved; they think this is some spiritual growth. But within two or three days all that spiritual growth will be gone, and they are ready for another group. There are some people -- you can call them "groupies" -- that move from one group to another group to another group. Their whole life is just a movement from group to group. Just like hippies... but you can call them "groupies."

Source: from Osho Book "The Path of Mystic"

Osho on Repressed Sexuality

Question: Beloved Master, I am seventy years old, and it feels embarrassing to be still longing for sex. What should I do?
Osho : Jagat Narayan, the first thing is to accept your longing. Don't reject it, don't deny it, don't repress it. It is because of repression that it continues; in your youth you must have repressed it too much.

Once it happened: I was in New Delhi and a young monk was brought to me; he must have been not more than thirty-five. He was living a life of absolute celibacy. He told me, "It is only a question of a few more years that I have to fight with my sexual desire. Can you tell me," he asked me, "exactly how many more years it will take? I am thirty-five. I am getting a little bit tired of fighting, fighting. Up to now I have succeeded -- now how many more years?"

I said, "It is better if you don't ask me, because the real problem is still ahead of you. The real problem has not happened yet; it happens at the age of forty-two."
He said, "What do you mean?"

I said, "Right now you are young, full of energy, strength -- you can repress your sexual desire. But after forty-two you will become weak; slowly slowly, every day you will become weaker. YOU will become weak, but the repressed sexual desire, accumulated for years, will be very strong. The energy that is repressing it will be weaker and the energy that is repressed will become stronger every day. The real problem starts after forty-two."

He said, "Nobody has ever said that to me. People say that by the time you reach forty-five, if you can manage to keep yourself celibate, the problem disappears."

I said, "They don't know at all, they don't know the ways of energy. The repressor will become weak, but the repressed never becomes weak, because the repressed accumulates."

After ten years, when he must have been forty-five, he came to see me again. I was in Amritsar. He touched my feet, cried, and he said, "You are right. Now I am on the verge of breaking down. Now the urge is so intense, as it has never been, and I am not in a situation to fight. I am tired, defeated, weak. You were right, but I didn't listen to you. And all the people who have been telling me that after forty-five the problem disappears, either were deceiving me or they were deceiving themselves or they were utterly ignorant, unaware of how energies function." 

Jagat Narayan, you must have repressed. That's how people are brought up, particularly in India: the religious person is one who represses all his natural desires. Now you are seventy and it really looks embarrassing to still be so childish. The older you grow, the more embarrassing it will become, but the more persistent it will be. Twenty-four hours of your day will become obsessed with sex. And this is what has been done to you by your society: the society has created a kind of split in you, you have become divided from your own nature.

Even now it is not too late. Don't be worried and don't feel embarrassed. Why? If God has given you sex and the longing for it then it is perfectly right, it is divine. YOU have not created it -- why do YOU feel embarrassed? It is instinctive.

If you really want to feel embarrassed, feel embarrassed because you are a Hindu and for seventy years you allowed foolish people to dominate you, stupid priests to dominate you. Feel embarrassed that you were not intelligent enough to get out of the prison in which you were accidentally born. But don't feel embarrassed about sex and the longing for it -- that is natural. Being Hindu is not natural, being Mohammedan is not natural. Feel embarrassed that for seventy years you have been doing such harm to your own nature.

Accept your sexuality, say yes to it -- because only by saying yes to it is there a possibility of going beyond it. Yes is the stepping-stone. Without yes you cannot reach the other shore; the yes becomes the boat. But my feeling is that you are still saying no. Be less of a Hindu, be less of a fanatic, be less of an idealist. Be a little more realistic.

Tony's wife passed away and he was almost inconsolable. At the cemetery he collapsed with grief. In the car riding back home, his whole frame shook with wild sobs.

"Now, now, Tony, my boy," soothed his friend. "It's really not so bad. I know it is tough now, but in six months maybe you find another beautiful bambina and before you know, you get married again."

Tony turned to him in rage. "Six months!" he shouted. "What I gonna do tonight?"
You laugh at Tony, but he is more natural. He is not embarrassed about it, he accepts it.

Jagat Narayan, even though you are seventy years old, your sex, because it has remained somehow unfulfilled, is not seventy years old but seventy years young! Now there is going to be difficulty: you are seventy years old and your sex is seventy years young. But if you accept it, if you embrace it, if you take it naturally, still it is not too late. In the East we have a saying: Even if you come back home when the sun is setting, it is not too late....

Eighty-five-year-old Will Jones hobbled down to the local bar to have a cold one and shoot the breeze with his friends. Mr. Jones was the talk of the town, as he had recently married a beautiful nineteen-year-old girl. Several of the boys bought the old man a drink in an effort to get him to tell about his wedding night. Sure enough, the old rascal fell right into their plans.

"My youngest son carried me in and lifted me on the bed with my young bride. We spent the night together and then my three other sons carried me off the bed."

The men scratched their heads and asked the old boy why it took his three sons to take him off when it only took his youngest boy to put him on.

Proudly he replied, "I fought them!" 

Jagat Narayan, gather courage! Don't feel embarrassed. At least deep down accept it, even though you may not be able to move into a sexual relationship. The very acceptance -- total, I mean, less than that won't do -- if you accept totally, even that very acceptance will heal the wound. There may be no need to actually move into a sexual relationship. That may be even dangerous; that may create more problems for you than it will solve. 

I have heard : One Friday afternoon a couple appeared before a justice of the peace in a small town and had a marriage ceremony performed. The man must have been near about eighty and the girl was only twenty-two. They then drove to a motel and checked in for their honeymoon. They had a lively evening together.

The next morning the groom raised the window shade just to take a look outside, pulled it down again and went back to bed. The next morning, Sunday, this performance was repeated. The groom raised the shade, looked out for a moment, then pulled it down and went back to his bride. On the third morning, as he raised the shade, he flew up with it. 

So it can be dangerous! Don't blame me that I am telling you to find a bambina, no! You may be too old for it. But nobody is too old to accept something that he has been denying. Drop condemning it -- respect your nature.

And my own observation is, the moment you accept something totally, the very acceptance brings a revolution, a radical change. It is your energy -- accept it. It will make you stronger. Reject it, it keeps you weak. Fighting with your own energy is dissipating it. And fighting with your sex will take so much of your time and so much of your energy -- then when are you going to look at God who is knocking on your door?

Stop fighting, stop fighting absolutely. Start respecting. Drop condemnation. Nothing is sin -- not sex at least. It is a natural phenomenon. If people are allowed to live it naturally, then at the age of fourteen they will become flooded with it. But in an unnatural society they will be flooded before their time.

Do you know? In America the boys and girls are becoming sexually mature earlier than anywhere else. In every other country the boys become sexually mature at fourteen; in America, at thirteen or twelve they become sexually mature. There is too much sex around in the movies, on the TV, everywhere. 

A small boy -- must have been six or seven -- was sitting on the steps of his house and crying big tears. An old man came by and he asked, "My son, why are you crying?" He wanted to help the boy. He sat by his side, wiped his tears with his handkerchief and asked, "Why are you crying? What has happened?"

The little boy said, "I am crying because I can't do what other boys are doing."
And the old man started crying!

The little boy was surprised. He said, "Pop, why are YOU crying?"
He said, "I can't do what the other boys are doing either. Our problems are the same." 

In America people are becoming sexually obsessed before their age. That is ugly, that is ill, that is premature. In India the opposite happens: people remain sexually interested even when they are seventy, eighty, ninety. They may not say so -- Jagat Narayan, you are at least authentic, courageous, to say it is so -- but they remain obsessed with it.

In a natural society, children will become sexually overflooded at fourteen -- a beautiful energy -- and by the time they are forty-two the energy will disappear suddenly, as it appeared at the age of fourteen. If a person lives naturally, without the interference of the priests.... Priests who are against sex or priests who are for sex -- avoid both! If a man lives naturally, then between fourteen and forty-two his sex energy will give him tremendous joy, great experience of ecstasy, first glimpses of God and samadhi. And by the time it disappears it will leave you ripe, mature, centered, rooted.

Right now you can do only one thing: accept it totally, absorb it. It is not too late, although the sun is setting. If you can come home, if you can become natural and spontaneous about yourself, authentic, true, at least to yourself, you will be able to face God with a smile on your face. You will be able to enter death dancing, singing.

And a death that can be welcomed with dance and song is not death at all. It becomes the door to the deathless, it leads you into immortality.
Enough for today. 

Source: from book “The Dhammapada, Volume 5“ by Osho

Osho on difference in Normal Sex and tantric Sex

Question : What's the difference between Normal sex & Tantric sex ?
Osho : Your sex act and the tantric sex act are basically different. Your sex act is to relieve; it is just like sneezing out a good sneeze. The energy is thrown out and you are unburdened. It is destructive, it is not creative. It is good -- therapeutic. It helps you to be relaxed, but nothing more. The tantric sex act is basically, diametrically opposite and different. It is not to relieve, it is not to throw energy out. It is to remain in the act without ejaculation, without throwing energy out; to remain in the act merged -- just at the beginning part of the act, not the end part.

This changes the quality; the complete quality is different then. Try to understand two things. There are two types of climaxes, two types of orgasm. One type of orgasm is known. You reach to a peak of excitement, then you cannot go further: the end has come. The excitement reaches to a point where it becomes non-voluntary. The
energy jumps into you and goes out. You are relieved of it, unburdened. The load is thrown; you can relax and sleep. You are using it like a tranquilizer.

It is a natural tranquilizer: a good sleep will follow -- if your mind is not burdened by religion. Otherwise even the tranquilizer is destroyed. If your mind is not burdened by religion, only then can sex be a tranquilizing thing. If you feel guilt, even your sleep will be disturbed. You will feel depression, you will start condemning yourself and you will begin to take oaths that now you won't indulge anymore. Then your sleep will become a nightmare afterwards.

If you are a natural being not too much burdened by religion and morality, only then can sex be used as a tranquilizer. This is one type of orgasm -- coming to the peak of excitement. Tantra is centered on another type of orgasm. If we call the first kind a peak orgasm, you can call the tantric orgasm a valley orgasm. In it you are not coming to the peak of excitement, but to the very deepest valley of relaxation. Excitement has to be used for both in the beginning. That is why I say that in the beginning both are the same, but the ends are totally different.

Excitement has to be used for both: either you are going toward the peak of excitement or to the valley of relaxation. For the first, excitement has to be intense -- more and more intense. You have to grow in it; you have to help it to grow towards the peak. In the second, excitement is just a beginning. And once the man has entered, both lover and beloved can relax. No movement is needed. They can relax in a loving embrace.

When the man feels or the woman feels that the erection is going to be lost, only then is a little movement and excitement required. But then again relax. You can prolong this deep embrace for hours with no ejaculation, and then both can fall into deep sleep together. This -- THIS -- is a valley orgasm. Both are relaxed, and they meet as two relaxed beings. In the ordinary sexual orgasm you meet as two excited beings -- tense, full of excitement, trying to unburden yourselves. The ordinary sexual orgasm looks like madness; the tantric orgasm is a deep, relaxing meditation.

You may not be aware of it, but this is a fact of biology, of bio-energy, that man and woman are opposite forces. Negative-positive, yin-yang, or whatsoever you call them, they are challenging to each other. And when they both meet in a deep relaxation, they revitalize each other. They both revitalize each other, they both become generators, they both feel livelier, they both become radiant with new energy, and nothing is lost. Just by meeting with the opposite pole energy is renewed.

The tantric love act can be done as much as you like. The ordinary sex act cannot be done as much as you like because you are losing energy in it, and your body will have to wait to regain it. And when you regain it, you will only lose it again. This looks absurd. The whole life is spent in gaining and losing, regaining and losing: it is just like an obsession. The second thing to be remembered: you may or may not have observed that when you look at animals you can never see them enjoying sex. In intercourse, they are not enjoying themselves.

Look at baboons, monkeys, dogs or any kind of animals. In their sex act you cannot see that they are feeling blissful or enjoying it -- you cannot! It seems to be just a mechanical act, a natural force pushing them towards it. If you have seen monkeys in intercourse, after the intercourse they will separate. Look at their faces: there is no ecstasy in them, it is as if nothing has happened. When the energy forces itself, when the energy is too much, they throw it. The ordinary sex act is just like this, but moralists have been saying quite the contrary.

They say, "Do not indulge, do not `enjoy'." They say, "This is as animals do." This is wrong! Animals never enjoy; only man can enjoy. And the deeper you can enjoy, the higher is the kind of humanity that is born. And if your sex act can become meditative, ecstatic, the highest is touched. But remember tantra: it is a valley orgasm, it is not a peak experience. It is a valley experience!

In the West, Abraham Maslow has made this term "peak experience" very famous. You go into excitement towards the peak, and then you fall. That is why, after every sex act, you feel a fall. And it is natural: you are falling from a peak. You will never feel that after a tantric sex experience. Then you are not falling. You cannot fall any further because you have been in the valley. Rather, you are rising.

When you come back after a tantric sex act, you have risen, not fallen. You feel filled with energy, more vital, more alive, radiant. And that ecstasy will last for hours, even for days. It depends on how deeply you were in it. If you move into it, sooner or later you will realize that ejaculation is wastage of energy. No need of it -- unless you need children. And with a tantric sex experience, you will feel a deep relaxation the whole day.

One tantric sex experience, and even for days you will feel relaxed -- at ease, at home, non-violent, nonangry, non-depressed. And this type of person is never a danger to others. If he can, he will help others to be happy. If he cannot, at least he will not make anyone unhappy. Only tantra can create a new man, and this man who can know timelessness, egolessness and deep non-duality with existence will grow.

Osho on Repressed Sex - Hate for Sex

Question: I Love my husband but I hate Sex, and that creates conflict. Isn't sex Animalistic?
Osho : It is. But man is an animal -- as much of an animal as any other animal. But when I say that man is an animal, I don't mean that man finishes with animality; he can be more than the animal, he can be less also. That is the glory of man, the freedom and the danger, the agony and the ecstasy. A man can be far lower than animals, and a man can be far higher than gods. Man has infinite potentiality.

A dog is a dog: he remains a dog. He is born a dog and he will die a dog. A man can become a Buddha, and a man can become an Adolf Hitler too. So man is very open-ended on both sides -- he can fall back. Can you find any animal more dangerous than man, more mad than man? Just think of a scene: fifty thousand monkeys sitting in a stadium killing small children -- throwing them into a fire. What will you think about them?

Thousands of children are being thrown into a fire... A great fire is burning just in the middle of the stadium, and fifty thousand monkeys enjoying with joy, dancing, and children are being thrown -- their own children. What will you think about these monkeys? Will you not think that the monkeys have gone mad? But this has happened in humanity. In Carthage it happened: fifty thousand men burning children. They burnt three hundred children at one time. as an offering to their god. Their own children!

But forget about Carthage, it is long past. What did Adolf Hitler do in this century'? Of course, this is a far-advanced century, so Adolf Hitler was capable of doing greater things than Carthage. He killed millions of Jews, thousands at a time would be forced into a chamber and gassed. And hundreds of people would be looking from the outside... watching through one-way mirrors. What you will think about these people? What type of men...? People being gassed, burnt, evaporated, and others are watching? Can you think about animals doing such a thing?

During three thousand years, man has been through five thousand wars -- killing and killing and killing. And you call sex animalistic? Animals have never done anything more 'animalistic' than man. And you think man is not an animal? Man IS an animal. And the idea that man is not an animal is one of the hindrances for your growth. So you take it for granted that you are not animals, and then you stop growing. The first recognition has to be this: 'I am an animal and I have to be alert and and go beyond it.'
It happened: A man wrote to a country hotel in Ireland to ask if his dog would be allowed to stay there.  He received the following answer: Dear Sir, I have been in the hotel business for over thirty years. Never yet have I had to call in the police to eject a disorderly dog in the small hours of the morning. No dog has ever attempted to pass off a bad cheque on me. Never has a dog set the bed-clothes alight through smoking. I have never found a hotel towel in a dog's suitcase. Your dog is welcome. 
P.S. If he can vouch for you, you can come too!

Animals are beautiful, whatsoever they are; they are just innocent. Man is very cunning, very calculating, very ugly. Man can fall lower than the animals, because man can rise higher than man higher than gods. Man has an infinite potentiality: he can be the lowest and he can be the highest. He has the whole ladder in his being, from the first rung to the last rung.

So the first thing I would like to say to you: don't call sex just animalistic, because sex can be just animalistic -- that is possible, but it need not be. It can rise higher, it can become love, it can become prayer. It depends on you. Sex in itself is nothing like a fixed entity; it is just a possibility. You can make it as you like it, as you want it. That is the whole message of Tantra: that sex can become Samadhi. That is the vision of Tantra: that sex can become Samadhi, that through sex the ultimate ecstasy can enter in you. Sex can become the bridge between you and the ultimate.

You say: I Love my husband but I hate Sex, and that creates conflict. How can you love your husband and yet hate sex'? You must be playing on words. How can you love your husband and hate sex? Just try to understand it. When you love a man, you would like to hold his hand too. When you love a man, you would like to hug him sometimes too. When you love a man, you would not only like to hear his sound, you would like to see his face too. When you only hear the sound of your beloved, the beloved is far away, the sound is not enough; when you see him too you are more satisfied.

When you touch him, certainly you are even more satisfied. When you taste him, certainly you are even more satisfied. What is sex? It is just a meeting of two deep energies. You must be carrying some taboos in your mind, inhibitions. What is sex'? Just two persons meeting at the maximum point -- not only holding hands, not only hugging each other's bodies, but penetrating into each other's energy realm. Why should you hate sex?

Your mind must have been conditioned by the Mahatmas, the so-called 'religious' people who have poisoned the whole of humanity, who have poisoned your very source of growth. Why should you hate? If you love your man, you would like to share your total being with him: there is no need to hate. And if you hate sex, what are you saying'? You are simply saying that you want the man to take care of you financially, to take care of the house, to bring you a car and a fur coat. You want to use the man... and you call it love'? And you don't want to share anything with him.

When you love, you share all. When you love, you don't have any secrets. When you love, you have your heart utterly open; you are available. When you love, you are ready to go with him even to hell if he is going to hell. But this happens. We are very expert with words: we don't want to say that we don't love, so we make it look as if we love and we hate sex. Sex is not all love -- that's true, love is more than sex -- that's true; but sex is the very foundation of it. Yes, one day sex disappears, but to hate it is not the way to make it disappear.

To hate it is the way to repress it. And whatsoever is repressed will come up one way or other. Please don't try to become a monk or a nun. Remember, sex is natural. One can go beyond it, but not though repression. And if you repress it, sooner or later you will find some other way to express it; some perversion is bound to enter -- you will have to find some substitute. And substitutes are of NO help at all; they DON'T help, they CAN'T help.

And once a natural problem has been turned in such a way that you have forgotten about it, and it has bubbled up somewhere else as a substitute, you can go on fighting with the substitute, but it is not going to help substitutes never help; they only create perversions. obsessions. Be natural if you want to go beyond nature some day. Be natural: that is the first requirement. I am not saying that there is nothing more than nature, there is a higher nature -- that is the whole message of Tantra. But be very earthly if you really want to rise high in the sky.

Can't you see these trees? They are rooted in the earth, and the better they are rooted the higher they go. The higher they want to go, the deeper they will have to go into the earth. If a tree wants to touch the stars, the tree will have to go and touch the very hell -- that's the only way. Be rooted in your body if you want to become a soul. Be rooted in your sex if you really want to become a lover. Yes, the more energy is converted into love, the less and less need of sex will be there, but you will not hate it.

Hate is not a right relationship with anything. Hate simply shows that you are afraid. Hate simply shows that there is great fear in you. Hate simply shows that deep down you are still attracted. If you hate sex, then your energy will start moving somewhere else. Energy has to move. If God gives you sexual energy, it becomes sacred. Anything from God is sacred and everything is from God. And by "God" I don't mean a certain person, I mean the whole existence.

When the cuckoo starts singing, have you ever thought for what the song is for? It is to attract a sexual partner. But nobody condemns the cuckoo as obscene. When the flowers open and send their fragrance, what do you think they are doing? They are advertising that "I have come to flower; now butterflies, bees are invited and welcome." But for what? -- because the flower has small seeds which will go with the butterflies, with the bees. Because the same division exists in the whole existence: there are plants which are male, and there are plants which are female. The male plant has to send its seeds to the female plant, its beloved.

Have you seen the dance of a peacock? Do you think he is dancing for you? And remember one thing: The beautiful tail of rainbow colors and the dancing peacock is male. He is attracting some female. It is only the insane humanity where the female has to attract the male. All over nature, it is the male who attracts the female. And for that reason, all over nature the male is more beautiful -- because the female need not have any beauty; just being female is enough. But strange -- man has been standing on his head, doing shirshasana continuously.

It is the male who should be more beautiful so that a female is attracted towards him. But religions have made a mess. To such an extent that if you see a rich man walking with his wife, he looks like a servant, and the wife looks nothing but an advertisement for his riches. All the diamonds, all the emeralds, all the rubies, all gold -- that is an advertisement for the man. He's just a businessman; having a beautiful wife is a business strategy so you can invite your customers to your house for dinner, and your wife will hypnotize them with her beauty so that you can cut their pockets!

But man has become just a servant, a businessman. His riches are known through the wife -- his riches, his beauty, his genius has  to be kept hidden. Whenever you disturb nature and start manufacturing your own rules, remember it is a crime -- unforgivable. Man, unless he meditates, will go crazy -- crazy after women. And man finds meditation more difficult than the woman. Experienced mothers who have given two, three births can be asked before the birth and can say whether there is a girl or a boy in their womb, because a girl remains silent, and a boy starts playing football. He starts kicking here and there.

In meditation girls can enter deeper. On the one hand they can go deeper in meditation; on the other hand their sexuality is negative, it is not a compulsion on them. I was amazed in my experience moving amongst all kinds of monks and nuns, because no monk is really celibate, but nuns are celibate. They can manage to be celibate; they don't have an aggressive sex, and moreover nature has provided that every month their sex energy goes out of their body automatically, they are clean again for one month.

But man is in a difficulty. His sex energy can be subdued only by deeper meditation. Then he will not go crazy. Unless you meditate deeply, you will not be able to transcend your sexual craziness.

The student demonstration had turned into a riot. Suddenly a man staggered out of the crowd carrying a limp girl in his arms. "Here," shouted a cop running up to the man, "give her to me. I will get her out of this."
"The hell with you," replied the man, "go and find one of your own!"
Even in a riot, when people are being killed, shot, the man's mind remains continuously thinking of sex.

Sex is man's greatest bondage. You have to make every effort for meditativeness, so that all your sexual energy, instead of moving downwards, starts moving upwards. Instead of finding a beautiful woman, start creating a beautiful man within you. Rather than finding a graceful woman, your energy can make you graceful. But man is more stupid than woman. The whole of history has been made up by man, and you can see the madness: it is a history not of mankind, but of madness, wars, rape, burning living people, destruction.
And now they have come to the peak; perhaps Ronald Reagan will be the last chapter of history -- although there will be no one to read it, and perhaps no one will be able to write it even.

A married couple took their little boy to the circus. During the gorilla act the husband had to go to the bathroom, and while he was gone, the little boy nudged his mother and said, "What is that long thing hanging down between the gorilla's legs?"
His mother was very embarrassed and said quickly, "Oh, that's nothing, dear."
When the husband returned, the wife went off to buy some popcorn, and while she was gone, the little boy nudged his father and said, "Daddy, what is that big thing hanging down between the gorilla's legs?"
The father smiled and said, "That son, is his penis."
The little boy looked puzzled for a moment and then said, "Then why did mummy just say it was nothing?"
"Son," said his father proudly, "I have spoiled that woman."

Osho on Relationships and Living Partners

Question: Would you talk to us about our living partners -- our Wives, husbands and lovers. When should we persevere with a partner, and when Should we abandon a relationship as hopeless -- or even Destructive?

Osho : Relationship is one of the mysteries. And because it exists between two persons, it depends on both. Whenever two persons meet, a new world is created. Just by their meeting, a new phenomenon comes into existence -- which was not before, which never existed before. And through that new phenomenon, both persons are changed and transformed. Unrelated, you are one thing; related, immediately you become something else. A new thing has happened. A woman when she becomes a lover is no longer the same woman.

A man when he becomes a father is no longer the same man. A child is born, but we miss one point completely; the moment the child is born, the mother is also born. This never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother never. And a mother is something absolutely new. Relationship is created by you, but then, in its turn, relationship creates you. Two persons meet, that means two worlds meet. It is not a simple thing but very complex, the most complex.

Each person is a world unto himself or herself, a complex mystery with a long past and an eternal future. In the beginning only peripheries meet. But if the relationship grows intimate, becomes closer, becomes deeper, then by and by centers start meeting. When centers meet, it is called love. When peripheries meet, it is acquaintance. You touch the person from the without, just from the boundary, then it is acquaintance. Many times you start calling your acquaintance your love. Then you are in a fallacy. Acquaintance is not love.

Love is very rare. To meet a person at his center is to pass through a revolution yourself, because if you want to meet a person at his center, you will have to allow that person to reach to your center also. You will have to become vulnerable, absolutely vulnerable, open. It is risky. To allow somebody to reach your center is risky, dangerous, because you never know what that person will do to you. And once all your secrets are known, once your hiddenness has become unhidden, once you are exposed completely, what that other person will do, you never know. The fear is there. That's why we never open.

Just acquaintance, and we think that love has happened. Peripheries meet, and we think we have met. You are not your periphery. Really, the periphery is the boundary where you end, just the fencing around you. It is not you! The periphery is the place where you end and the world begins. Even husbands and wives who may have lived together for many years may be just acquaintances. They may not have known each other. And the more you live with someone, the more you forget completely that the centers have remained unknown.
 
So the first thing to be understood is: don't take acquaintance as love. You may be making love, you may be sexually related, but sex is also peripheral. Unless centers meet, sex is just a meeting of two bodies. And a meeting of two bodies is not your meeting. Sex also remains acquaintance --physical, bodily, but still acquaintance. You can allow somebody to enter to your center only when you are not afraid, when you are not fearful. So I say to you that there are two types of living. One: fear-oriented; one: love-oriented.

Fear-oriented living can never lead you into deep relationship. You remain afraid, and the other cannot be allowed, cannot be allowed to penetrate you to your very core. To an extent you allow the other and then the wall comes and everything stops. The love-oriented person is the religious person. The love-oriented person means one who is not afraid of the future, one who is not afraid of the result and the consequence, who lives here and now. Don't be bothered about the result. That is the fear-oriented mind. Don't think about what will happen out of it.

Just be here, and act totally. Don't calculate. A fear-oriented man is always calculating, planning, arranging, safeguarding. His whole life is lost in this way.

I have heard about an old Zen monk. He was on his deathbed. The last day had come, and he declared that that evening he would be no more. So followers, disciples, friends started coming. He had many lovers. They all started coming. From far and wide people gathered. One of his old disciples, when he heard that the master was going to die, ran to the market.

Somebody asked: The master is dying in his hut, why are you going to the market?
The old disciple said: I know that my master loves a particular type of cake, so Iam going to purchase the cake.

It was difficult to find the cake, because now it had gone out of fashion, but by the evening somehow he managed. He came running with the cake. And everybody was worried -- it was as if the master was waiting for someone. He would open his eyes and look, and close his eyes again.

And when this disciple came, he said: Okay, so you have come. Where is the cake? The disciple produced the cake -- and he was very happy that the master asked about the cake. Dying, the master took the cake in his hand, but his hand was not trembling. He was very old, but his hand was not trembling. So somebody asked: You are so old and just on the verge of dying. The last breath is soon to leave you, but your hand is not trembling.

The master said: I never tremble, because there is no fear. My body has become old, but I am still young, and I will remain young even when the body is gone. Then he took a bite, started munching the cake. And then somebody asked: What is your last message, Master? You will be leaving us soon. What do you want us to remember?

The master smiled and said: Ah, this cake is delicious.

This is a man who lives in the here and now: This cake is delicious. Even death is irrelevant. The next moment is meaningless. THIS moment this cake is delicious. If you can be in this moment, this present moment, this presentness, the plenitude, then only can you love.

Love is a rare flowering. It happens only sometimes. Millions and millions of people live in the false attitude that they are lovers. They believe that they love, but that is their belief only. Love is a rare flowering. Sometimes it happens. It is rare because it can happen only when there is no fear, never before. That means love can happen only to a very deeply spiritual, religious person. Sex is possible for all. Acquaintance is possible for all. Not love. When you are not afraid, then there is nothing to hide, then you can be open, then you can withdraw all boundaries. And then you can invite the other to penetrate you to the very core.

And remember, if you allow somebody to penetrate you deeply, the other will allow you to penetrate into himself or herself, because when you allow somebody to penetrate you, trust is created. When you are not afraid, the other becomes fearless. In your love, fear is always there. The husband is afraid of the wife, the wife is afraid of the husband. Lovers are always afraid. Then it is not love. Then it is just an arrangement of two fearful persons depending on each other, fighting, exploiting, manipulating, controlling, dominating, possessing -- but it is not love.

If you can allow love to happen, there is no need for prayer, there is no need for meditation, there is no need for any church, any temple. You can completely forget God if you can love -- because through love, everything will have happened to you: meditation, prayer, God. EVERYTHING will have happened to you. That's what Jesus means when he says: Love is God. But love is difficult. Fear has to be dropped. And this is the strange thing, that you are so afraid and you have nothing to lose.

Kabir has said somewhere: I look into people. They are so much afraid, but I can't see why -- because they have nothing to lose. Says Kabir: They are like a person who is naked, but never goes to take a bath in the river because he is afraid -- where will he dry his clothes? This is the situation you are in -- naked, with no clothes, but always afraid about the clothes. What have you got to lose? Nothing. This body will be taken by death. Before it is taken by death, give it to love. Whatsoever you have will be taken away.

Before it is taken away, why not share it? That is the Only way of possessing it. If you can share and give, you are the master. It is going to be taken away. There is nothing which you can retain forever. Death will destroy everything. So, if you follow me rightly, the struggle is between death and love. If you can give, there will be no death. Before anything can be taken away from you, you will have already given it, you will have made it a gift. There can be no death. For a lover there is no death.

For a non-lover, every moment is a death, because every moment something is being snatched away from him. The body is disappearing, he is losing every moment. And then there will be death, and everything will be annihilated. What is the fear? Why are you so afraid? Even if everything is known about you and you are an open book, why fear? How can it harm you? Just false conceptions, just conditionings given by the society, that you have to hide, that you have to protect yourself, that you have to be constantly in a fighting mood, that everybody is an enemy, that everybody is against you.

Nobody is against you! Even if you feel somebody is against you, he too is not against you -- because everybody is concerned with himself, not with you. There is nothing to fear. This has to be realized before a real relationship can happen. There is nothing to fear. Meditate on it. And then allow the other to enter you, invite the other to enter you. Don't create any barrier anywhere, become a passage always open, no locks, no doors on you, no closed doors on you. Then love is possible.

When two centers meet, there is love. And love is an alchemical phenomenon -- just like hydrogen and oxygen meet and a new thing, water, is created. You can have hydrogen, you can have oxygen, but if you are thirsty, they will be useless. You can have as much oxygen as you want, as much hydrogen as you like, but the thirst will not go. When two centers meet a new thing is created. That new thing is love. And it is just like water, the thirst of many, many lives is satisfied. Suddenly you become content. That is the visible sign of love; you become content, as if you have achieved everything. There is nothing to achieve now; You have reached the goal.

There is no further goal, destiny is fulfilled. The seed has become a flower, has come to its total flowering. Deep contentment is the visible sign of love. Whenever a person is in love, he is in deep contentment. Love cannot be seen, but contentment, the deep satisfaction around him...his every breath, his every movement, his very being -- content. You may be surprised when I say to you that love makes you desireless, but desire is with discontent. You desire because you don't have. You desire because you think if you have something it will give you contentment.

Desire is out of discontent. When there is love and two centers have met and dissolved and merged, and a new alchemical quality is born, contentment is there. It is as if the whole existence has stopped -- no movement. Then the present moment is the only moment. And then you can say: Ah, this cake is delicious. Even death doesn't mean anything to a man who is in love. So I say to you, love will make you desireless. Be fearless, drop fears, be open. Allow some center to meet the center within you. you will be reborn through it, a new quality of being will be created.

This quality of being says: This is god. God is not an argument, it is a fulfillment, a feeling of fulfillment. You may have observed that whenever you are discontent, you want to deny God. Whenever you are dissatisfied, your whole being wants to say: There is no God. Atheism is not out of logic, it is out of discontent. You may rationalize it -- that's another thing. You may not say you are an atheist because you are discontent. You may say: There is no God and I have got proofs. But that is not the true thing.

If you are satisfied, suddenly your whole being says: THERE is god. Suddenly you feel it! The whole existence becomes divine. If love is there you will be really for the first time in the feeling that existence is divine and everything is a blessing. But much has to be done before this can happen. Much has to be destroyed before this can happen. You have to destroy all that creates barriers in you.

Make love a SADHANA, an inner discipline. Don't allow it just to be a frivolous thing. Don't allow it just to be an occupation of the mind. Don't allow it just to be a bodily satisfaction. Make it an inner search, and take the other as a help, as a friend. If you have heard anything about Tantra, you will know that Tantra says: If you can find a consort, a friend, a woman or a man, who is ready to move with you towards the inner center, who is ready to move with you to the highest peak of relationship, then this relationship will become meditative.

Then through this relationship you will achieve the ultimate relationship. Then the other becomes just a door. Let me explain it: if you love a person, by and by first the periphery of the person disappears, the form of the person disappears. You come more and more in contact with the formless, the inner. The form becomes, by and by, vague and disappears. And if you go deeper, then even this formless individual starts disappearing and melting. Then the beyond opens. Then that particular individual was just a door, an opening.

And through your lover, you find the divine. Because we cannot love, we need so many religious rituals. They are substitutes, and very poor substitutes. A Meera needs no temple to go to. The whole existence is her temple. She can dance before a tree and the tree becomes Krishna. She can sing before a bird and the bird becomes Krishna. She creates her Krishna around her everywhere. Her love is such that wherever she looks the door opens and the Krishna is revealed, the beloved is revealed.

But the first glimpse will always come through an individual. It is difficult to be in contact with the universal. It is so big, so vast, so beginningless, endless. From where to start? From where to move into it? The individual is the door. Fall in love. And don't make it a struggle. Make it a deep allowance for the other, just an invitation. And allow the other to penetrate you without any conditions. And suddenly the other disappears and God is there. If your lover or beloved cannot become divine, then nothing in this world can become divine. Then all your religious talk is just nonsense. This can happen with a child. This can happen with an animal, your dog.

If you can be in deep relationship with a dog, it can happen -- the dog becomes divine! So it is not a question of man and woman only. That is one of the deepest sources of the divine and it reaches you naturally, but it can happen from anywhere. The basic key is this: you should allow the other to penetrate you to your very deepest core, to the very ground of your being. But we go on deceiving ourselves. We think we love. And if you think that you love, then there is no possibility for love to happen -- because if this is love, then everything is closed.

Make fresh efforts. Try to find in the other the real being that is hidden. Don't take anybody for granted. Every individual is such a mystery that if you go on and on into him it is endless. But we get bored with the other -- because just the periphery, and always the periphery. I was reading a story: A man was very ill and he tried all types of "pathies," but nothing would help. Then he went to a hypnotist and the hypnotist gave him a mantra, to repeat continuously: I am not ill.

For at least fifteen minutes in the morning and fifteen minutes at night: I am not ill, I am healthy. And the whole day, whenever you remember, repeat it. Within a few days he started getting better. And within weeks he was absolutely okay. Then he told his wife: This has been a miracle! Should I go to this hypnotist for another miracle also? Because lately I am feeling no sexual appetite and the sexual relationship has almost stopped. There is no desire.

The wife was happy. She said: You go -- because she was feeling very frustrated. The man went to the hypnotist. He came back, his wife asked: What mantra, what suggestion now has he given? The man wouldn't tell her. But within weeks his sexual appetite started returning. He started feeling desire again. So the wife was very much puzzled.

She continuously persisted in asking, but the man would laugh and would not say anything. So one day she tried, when he was in the bathroom in the morning doing his meditation, that fifteen-minute mantra, she tried to hear what he was saying. And he was saying: She is not my wife. She is not my wife. She is not my wife.

We take persons for granted. Somebody is your wife -- relationship is finished. Somebody is your husband -- relationship is finished. Now there is no adventure, the other has become a thing, a commodity. The other is not now a mystery to be searched the other is no longer new.

Remember, everything goes dead with age. The periphery is always old, and the center is always new. The periphery cannot remain new, because every moment it is getting old, stale. The center is always fresh and young. Your soul is neither a child, nor a young man, nor an old man. Your soul is simply eternally fresh. It has no age. You can experiment with it: you may be young, you may be old, just close your eyes and find out. Try to feel how your center is -- old? young? You will feel that the center is neither.

It is always new, it never gets old. Why? Because the center doesn't belong to time. In the process of time, everything becomes old. A man is born -- the body has started becoming old already! When we say that a child is one week old, it means one week of oldness has penetrated into the child. The child has already passed seven days towards death, he has completed seven days of dying. He is moving towards death -- sooner or later he will be dead. Whatsoever comes in time becomes old. The moment it enters time, it is already becoming old.

Your body is old, your periphery is old. You cannot be eternally in love with it. But your center is always fresh, it is eternally young. Once you are in contact with it, love is an every-moment discovery. And then the honeymoon never ends. If it ends it was not a honeymoon at all -- it was just an acquaintance. And the last thing to remember is: in the relationship of love you always blame the other if something goes wrong. If something is not happening as it should, the other is responsible. This will destroy the whole possibility of future growth.

Remember: you are always responsible, and change yourself. Drop those qualities which create trouble. Make love a self-transformation. As they say in salesmen's courses: The customer is always right. I would like to say to you: In the world of relationship and love, you are always in the wrong, the other is always right. And this is how lovers always feel. If there is love, they always feel: Something is wrong with me if things are not happening as they should. And both feel the same way! Then things grow, then centers open, then boundaries merge.

But if you think that the other is wrong, you are closing yourself and the other. And the other also thinks that you are wrong. Thoughts are infectious. If you think the other is wrong even if you have not said it, even if you are smiling and showing that you don't think the other is wrong -- the other has got the point -- through your eyes, through your gestures, through your face. Even if you are an actor, a great actor, and you can just arrange your face, your gestures as you like, then too the unconscious is continuously sending signals: You are wrong.

And when you say that the other is wrong, the other starts feeling that you are wrong. Relationship is destroyed on this rock, and then people become closed. If you say somebody is wrong, somebody starts protecting, safeguarding. Then closure happens.

Remember always: in love, you are always wrong. And then the possibility will open and the other will also feel the same. We create the feeling in the other. When lovers are close, immediately thoughts go jumping from one to the other. Even if they are not saying anything, they are silent, they communicate. Language is for non-lovers, those who are not in love. For lovers, silence is enough language. Without saying anything, they go on speaking. If you take love as sadhana, then don't say the other is wrong.

Just try to find out: somewhere, something must be wrong in you, and drop that wrongness. It is going to be difficult because it is going to be against the ego. It is going to be difficult because it will hurt your pride. It is going to be difficult because this will not be dominating, possessing. You will not be more powerful through possessing the other. This will destroy your ego -- that's why it is going to be difficult.

But destruction of the ego is the point, the goal. From wherever you like to approach the inner world -- from love, from meditation, from yoga, from prayer -- whatsoever the path you choose, the goal is the same: the destruction of the ego, throwing the ego away. Through love it can be done very easily. And it is so natural! Love is the natural religion.

Osho - Sex keeps you unconscious

Question - Osho, After listening to you the other day and Hearing Sex is stupid, we tried it right away, We dont understand! What do you find Stupid?
Osho - Ritmo and Deva Mastanando, I have been telling you of other things. Have you ever tried them right away? I am telling you about meditation every day and you go on postponing it! And sex you tried right away! You did me a great favor – you did not try it here! That shows its stupidity.

Sex is not stupid, you are stupid! It is because of you that poor sex also becomes stupid. And you will never know unless you rise a little higher. Unless you become a little more alert, you will not see the stupidity. You can’t see it remaining on the same level – nobody can see it. Go to the madhouse, ask any madman, ”Are you mad?” He will be mad at you! But no madman will accept that he is mad. He will say, ”What are you talking about? The whole world is mad except me. I am perfectly sane.”

No madman accepts he is mad. If a madman accepts he is mad, that is a sure sign that he is getting out of his madness, he is becoming sane. You will not be able to see the stupidity of it unless you learn a little more meditativeness so that you can observe, so that you can remain detached, so that you can see from a vantage point, so that you can have a little perspective. Right now you don’t have any perspective; you are too close.

Just stand very close to the mirror, your nose touching the mirror, and you will not be able to see your own face. That is not the fault of the mirror. You have to give it a little space, then the mirror can reflect you. You are too close. Sex seems to be the greatest obsession. The priests have to be given all credit for it. For centuries they have been condemning sex as sin and they have made it an obsession.

I don’t call sex a sin, I simply call it stupid. I am not saying that you will suffer hell – what more hell do you need to suffer? You are already suffering in it. And what does it go on giving to you? It just keeps you engaged – engaged in the other so that you can avoid yourself. That is its basic stupidity: it keeps you ignorant because it keeps you ignoring yourself.

The man is interested in the woman, the woman is interested in the man. Everybody is interested in the other. It seems as if the other has all that you need, and the other is also thinking that you have all that he or she needs. Both are beggars – and believing that the other has the kingdom.

Sooner or later you feel frustrated, but your frustration never teaches you anything. It is very. difficult to learn anything. If one woman has failed you you start looking to other women. If one man has not been up to your standards – and no man can be, no woman can be because that is not possible, that is not in the nature of things – then you start looking to other men. And all kinds of perversions are there, but if you ask any perverted person, he will not say that he sees any stupidity in it.

A Frenchman was making love to someone’s wife when the husband returned two days early from his business trip. Quick as a wink, the Frenchie scrambled out of the sack and took off like a big big bird. However, the angry husband was just as fast on his feet and he grabbed a rifle and shot the Frenchman’s balls off. Not at all perturbed, the Frenchman stuck out his very long tongue and shouted, ”Missed me!”

Now if you ask this Frenchman, he will not say that he is doing anything stupid; he is doing the most fantastic thing in the world!

Three woodcutters came down to the town after a long four-month work period, during which they had not seen or heard a thing except trees and their axes. Within hours they were totally drunk and decided to visit the local whorehouse.

The madam of the institution found herself in a fix, as she could only offer two girls and didn’t want to lose her third customer. So she told one of the girls to put the inflatable tailor’s dummy into one bed.

While two of the woodcutters were escorted to the beds with the real girls, the most drunk of them was put to bed with the dummy. As the three met the next morning, they exchanged the reports of their experiences. When the turn to share his experience came for the one who had been in bed with the air-filled rubber woman, he said, ”First it was really nice, but she was too quiet.  Then, when I bit her nipple, she gave one big fart and flew out the window.”

Ritmo and Mastananda, you will not be able to see what you are doing. Be a little more meditative and don’t be in such a hurry: that I told you and right away... It seems it was just an excuse. You believed that you were experimenting, you believed that you were doing something in order to know.

People can believe all kinds of things – but you cannot deceive me! People can go on rationalizing. You think you did it because I said sex is stupid? You would have done it anyway! Even if I had said that sex is very intelligent, then too you would have done it. If I had not said anything about sex, then too you would have done it.

Have a look at your mind. Try to understand how you go on rationalizing and deceiving yourself. And you cannot understand what I am saying unless you rise a little higher from the state of consciousness where you are right now. If you want to see more you have to rise a little higher.

It is as if you are standing on the road and I am sitting on the treetop. I say to you, ”A bullock cart is coming down the road.” You say, ”I don’t see any bullock cart. There is no bullock cart.” But I can see; my perspective is greater because I am on a height. You will only see the bullock cart when it comes very close to you, and then after a few yards it will disappear again. And I will say to you, ”It has not disappeared. It is still there on the road.” You will say, ”It is no longer there, it is gone.”

The higher you rise, the more you can see. And when you reach the ultimate height, Buddhahood, you can see everything. Then there is no past and no future; then there is only present. And in that clarity, sex is the most stupid thing because it keeps you in bondage the longest. I am not condemning it, I am simply stating a fact. It is your bondage. It keeps you unconscious. It does not allow you to see what you are doing. You are possessed by it.

Back in the early 1960’s when France was fighting its last colonial war, a draft-dodger from Paris pretended to have poor eyesight during his physical at the army induction center. The army doctor didn’t buy that, so he sent for a gorgeous young nurse and told her to take off her clothes.
”Describe what you see, young man,” the doctor asked.
”All I see is a blur, doctor,” the slacker replied.
Said the military M.D., ”Your eyes may not be as good as they should be my lad, but your prick is pointing straight toward Algeria!”

That’s why I call it stupid: it keeps you unconscious, it keeps you in a kind of possession. It is hormonal, it is chemical. It is not you; it is just your biology that goes on forcing you to do certain things. If you watch, you will be surprised: What are you doing? And why are you doing? If you watch you will be surprised: What are you gaining out of it? What have you gained up to now? And in your saner moments you know perfectly well what I am saying, you understand it; but those saner moments are very superficial – they come and go – and soon you are back in the same trap again. Mastananda, go back again, do it right away, but be watchful, be meditative.

And I will be there, standing by your side, and let us see what happens. Either you will not be able to do it at all or you will find that it is a biological compulsion, it is an obsession, it is not you. Your consciousness will remain floating up; deep down in the valley it will happen, but you will remain detached, unconcerned, cool. And that will give you the insight. Sex becomes a tantric experience when meditation is added to it.

Source: from Osho Book "Walking in Zen, Sitting in Zen"

Osho - if sex is not a natural desire in you, to force it will be a repression

Question - Beloved Osho, I never have sex and I don't feel like having sex. I don't think that I am beyond sex, but I love meditation and dancing much more, although it is difficult to accept this. Sex is not happening, and i like that it is not happening. Osho, does it mean that in order to be a sannyasin, I must have sex? I don't like it if it is not a natural happening, if it is only a sex and mind meeting, and not meditation. I enjoy being alone. I see myself in conflict a lot with this, but I can also accept the way I am. Then it all disappears from the mind, and my heart opens again. Osho, is something wrong with me?

Osho - Anand Dolano, nothing is wrong with you. Repression of sex is evil, but if sex is not a natural desire in you, to force it will be a repression. There are people who are forcing their natural desire for sex in trying to be celibate; they are going against their nature. And if you don't have any inclination towards sex, forcing it will be going against your nature; it will be the same kind of crime.

A sannyasin needs to be natural. You have to listen to your own body, your own instincts, your own intuition, and follow it. You are not to do anything against your nature. If you like to be alone, and enjoy meditating... that's what everybody else is trying, but first they are trying to get finished with sex so that they can enjoy being alone. You are in a better position, you don't have to pass through the hell. You have already passed through it somehow; perhaps in your past life. You are out of the hell; now don't try to get into the dark tunnel again.

Even the people to whom I say, "Don't repress sex," are not being told to remain always sexual. In fact repression of sex keeps you always sexual. Once you have lived it totally, you are finished with it. And the sooner you are finished the better, because then you can sit silently without being bothered by the need of anybody else as a companion. You are enough unto yourself, and that is the most important thing for a meditator -- the enoughness of aloneness.

But I can understand your problem. Here you must be seeing everybody bringing problems about sex, about their fights. Somebody is completely satisfied; that is his boredom. Somebody is not satisfied, he wants more satisfaction; that is his problem. Somebody is not feeling boredom; that is his problem. Listening to all these problems, naturally anybody will get worried: what is my problem? If you don't have any problem, it certainly means something is wrong with you!

Nothing is wrong with you. Just enjoy being yourself, your meditation, your silence, and let these people pass through their darkness. One day they will all come out of the tunnel; then you can greet them. But just seeing that everybody is in the tunnel, fighting, shouting.... Sitting outside the tunnel in the light, in silence, don't be worried that "Something seems to be wrong with me. Everybody is in the tunnel; what am I doing here? All the meditators are in the tunnel. Nobody is meditating... but they have all come here to meditate; only I am meditating."

"My wife is a typical Jew," complained the man to his companion. "She only makes love doggy-style."
"Doggy-style?" said his companion, "I don't believe it!"

"It is true. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead."

Let them play whatever style they want; you simply don't get distracted from your meditation. You are perfectly right. And all these people are trying to reach to your position. You don't have to descend into their troubles, into their problems.

You are blessed. It rarely happens, what is happening to you. It happens only because of your past life; there is no other explanation. In your past life you must have been meditating; you must have been with a master; you must have come to a point where sex became meaningless, where the need of the other dropped, when you became enough unto yourself and your loneliness changed into aloneness; hence in this life you are carrying all that you have achieved in your past life.

It is because of such experiences that all three Eastern religions accepted the idea of reincarnation. The three other religions, which were born outside of India, have no explanation for such an experience. Christianity, Judaism, Mohammedanism -- all three religions cannot explain your situation. But Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism, have a very logical scientific explanation: that you are carrying a quality that you achieved in your past life. Nothing is lost. Once you have achieved it, it goes on with your consciousness into new lives, into new bodies. 

Okay, Maneesha?
Yes, Osho.

Osho - if sex is not a natural desire in you, to force it will be a repression

Question - Beloved Osho, I never have sex and I don't feel like having sex. I don't think that I am beyond sex, but I love meditation and dancing much more, although it is difficult to accept this. Sex is not happening, and i like that it is not happening. Osho, does it mean that in order to be a sannyasin, I must have sex? I don't like it if it is not a natural happening, if it is only a sex and mind meeting, and not meditation. I enjoy being alone. I see myself in conflict a lot with this, but I can also accept the way I am. Then it all disappears from the mind, and my heart opens again. Osho, is something wrong with me?

Osho - Anand Dolano, nothing is wrong with you. Repression of sex is evil, but if sex is not a natural desire in you, to force it will be a repression. There are people who are forcing their natural desire for sex in trying to be celibate; they are going against their nature. And if you don't have any inclination towards sex, forcing it will be going against your nature; it will be the same kind of crime.

A sannyasin needs to be natural. You have to listen to your own body, your own instincts, your own intuition, and follow it. You are not to do anything against your nature. If you like to be alone, and enjoy meditating... that's what everybody else is trying, but first they are trying to get finished with sex so that they can enjoy being alone. You are in a better position, you don't have to pass through the hell. You have already passed through it somehow; perhaps in your past life. You are out of the hell; now don't try to get into the dark tunnel again.

Even the people to whom I say, "Don't repress sex," are not being told to remain always sexual. In fact repression of sex keeps you always sexual. Once you have lived it totally, you are finished with it. And the sooner you are finished the better, because then you can sit silently without being bothered by the need of anybody else as a companion. You are enough unto yourself, and that is the most important thing for a meditator -- the enoughness of aloneness.

But I can understand your problem. Here you must be seeing everybody bringing problems about sex, about their fights. Somebody is completely satisfied; that is his boredom. Somebody is not satisfied, he wants more satisfaction; that is his problem. Somebody is not feeling boredom; that is his problem. Listening to all these problems, naturally anybody will get worried: what is my problem? If you don't have any problem, it certainly means something is wrong with you!

Nothing is wrong with you. Just enjoy being yourself, your meditation, your silence, and let these people pass through their darkness. One day they will all come out of the tunnel; then you can greet them. But just seeing that everybody is in the tunnel, fighting, shouting.... Sitting outside the tunnel in the light, in silence, don't be worried that "Something seems to be wrong with me. Everybody is in the tunnel; what am I doing here? All the meditators are in the tunnel. Nobody is meditating... but they have all come here to meditate; only I am meditating."

"My wife is a typical Jew," complained the man to his companion. "She only makes love doggy-style."
"Doggy-style?" said his companion, "I don't believe it!"

"It is true. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead."

Let them play whatever style they want; you simply don't get distracted from your meditation. You are perfectly right. And all these people are trying to reach to your position. You don't have to descend into their troubles, into their problems.

You are blessed. It rarely happens, what is happening to you. It happens only because of your past life; there is no other explanation. In your past life you must have been meditating; you must have been with a master; you must have come to a point where sex became meaningless, where the need of the other dropped, when you became enough unto yourself and your loneliness changed into aloneness; hence in this life you are carrying all that you have achieved in your past life.

It is because of such experiences that all three Eastern religions accepted the idea of reincarnation. The three other religions, which were born outside of India, have no explanation for such an experience. Christianity, Judaism, Mohammedanism -- all three religions cannot explain your situation. But Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism, have a very logical scientific explanation: that you are carrying a quality that you achieved in your past life. Nothing is lost. Once you have achieved it, it goes on with your consciousness into new lives, into new bodies. 

Okay, Maneesha?
Yes, Osho.